Another Ragamuffin

Sometimes We Have To Stop Running...

2012-01-12T16:04:00.000-08:00

I don't really consider myself an articulate person. I am barely able to keep this blog up and running with random thoughts and stories from my life, let alone try to articulate the crazy thoughts that go running through my head. But sometimes, just sometimes, I find someone else who articulates my life better than I can... With school ending and my life actually slowing down for the first time... Well... Ever... I find myself alone with my own thoughts... And to be totally honest... I don't like them very much... It is encouraging, however to read that someone else struggles with slowing down too. And I pray that in this slow period of my life, I can start healing and moving forward with what God has planned for my life.

"What happens when you stop running? For me, it's just a time to survey the damage. To say I'm sorry to the people I need to say I'm sorry to. To not distract myself or numb myself with a plan of attack, but rather to pick up the first little pile of ash, the first shards of broken glass and try to clean up a little of the mess I've made.

What happens when you stop running? You start healing. At least that's my hope."

- Donald Miller

Visuals

2012-01-11T13:15:00.000-08:00

The older I get, the more I realize how much I like visuals. If I can see or imagine how something looks and works, it makes more sense to me. Even with math stuff, I ask people to send me a picture text in order to help them with little problems because I have to see the problem in order to understand it and explain it.

I realize now how much the same goes in my relationship with Christ. It's hard to be such a visual person and not be able to see and understand everything about Him. So I struggle. But sometimes I come across songs, quotes, or devotionals that paint a picture for me. See, I am a visual person, but I am not a creative person. I don't have a great imagination. I struggle to compare this thing that I can't see to things I can understand. And maybe that's ok. I don't think we can or are supposed to compare God to things we can see and understand because He is so much bigger than all of that. I don't think I (or anyone else for that matter) will ever fully comprehend what this really is. Which sucks. But, for now, I have songs like this that paint a beautiful picture of what this is...

THE MORE I SEEK YOU

The more I seek You

The more I find You

The more I love You

I wanna sit at Your feet

Drink from the cup in Your hand.

Lay back against You and breath,

Hear Your heart beat

This love is so deep

It's more than I can stand

I melt in Your peace, it's overwhelming

DONE!!!!

2011-12-07T17:02:00.000-08:00

That's right people! After 6 and a half long years of ups and downs and dropping out and transferring... I finally made it! Today was my last day of college and I couldn't be happier. When my last class was over, I couldn't stop smiling and all I wanted to do was praise God!

Rooftops

by: Jesus Culture

Here I am before you

Falling in love and seeking your truth

Knowing that your perfect grace

Has brought me to this place

Because of you I freely live

My life to you, oh God, I give

So I stand before You God

I lift my voice because you set me free

So I shout out your name from the rooftops I proclaim

That I am Yours, I am yours

All the good You've done for me

I lift up my hand up hand for all to see

You're the only one

Who brings me to my knees

To share this love across the earth

The beauty of Your Holy Word

So I kneel before You God

I lift my hands because you set me free

So I shout out your name from the rooftops I proclaim

That I am Yours, I am Yours

All that I am I place into Your loving hands

And I am Yours, I am Yours

Here I am, I stand with arms wide open

To the one, the Son, the everlasting God

I Heard it through the Grapevine...

2011-11-15T19:34:00.000-08:00

Gossip is a funny thing... We all know it's wrong... We all know it is something we need to avoid... So why do we all still get sucked into it? I have realized that there are three different types of Gossipers...

1.) There are those who spread the gossip. These are the ones who hear something (or make it up) and pass it (or a version of it... or what they interpret of it...) on to other people. They might tell a few people or they might tell a bunch of people. They might think that they are "helping" other people out by filling them in on other people's personal information, but really they are just helping themselves by releasing something that was burdening their mind...

2.) Then there are then people who look for the gossip. These are the people who ask others to share what they know (these people and the 1st type get along great!). They may not necessarily share what they know with other people but they go out of their way to find it out.

3.) And finally there are the innocent bystanders. You wouldn't think it, but they are a big part of this gossip problem. These are the people who don't share gossip and don't pursue gossip, but are at the right place at the right time. These are the people who are around when the 1's and 2's are going at it... Sounds innocent enough... but these are the people who just let it happen... They don't say anything to stop it and they don't try and remove themselves from the situation...

Where is this coming from? I'm tired of gossip. And while I know it's unavoidable and it's never going to end, I'm attempting to make a change. Wish me luck...

A Little bit of Crazy

2011-11-09T11:03:00.000-08:00

You know those crazy people? The ones that talk out loud, like they are talking to you, but you aren't sure if they are talking to you or not... So you make those faces that are kinda like saying, "Oh yeah?", "Wow, that's interesting...", or "Really?" There's this one crazy guy who comes in and swims every morning. And let's just say, I've gotten really good at these faces...

Divine Appointment

2011-11-02T10:57:00.000-07:00

I believe that God is Big. It's hard for me to even wrap my mind around how big He is sometimes. Whenever I start to limit God or doubt how big He is, He seems to always throw people into my path that He uses to bring me back to Him and the His path. A couple of weeks ago, I had one of these Divine Appointments.

Recently I have really been praying a lot about the path I am on (in regards to teaching and what I will be doing after college...). Saturday mornings at camp, I have to open the dinning room at 7:30 to tidy up and get the room ready for breakfast at 8:30. Cleaning the room doesn't always take this long so I usually end up with some downtime to read and drink my coffee in a quiet room. This particular morning, however, we had a family group in and many of the older guests came up for some coffee. One lady in particular came straight over to my table and sat down to chat with me. I remembered her from years past but didn't remember her name or anything like that. We never had a conversation before (that I can remember) and there was no real invitation to join my very quiet table, yet she sat and started chatting away.

She asked me about my life and I shared with her that I am graduating this semester and am planning to teach Math. She got so excited (she even gave me a high five) and shared with me that she is a Science teacher. She told me all about her experiences teaching and gave me really good advice in regards to how long it takes to actually like teaching. She was so reassuring and comforting that I rang the bell late because I wanted to keep talking to her. Our conversation ended almost as quickly as it began, but the wisdom that she shared with me and the encouragement she gave me has lasted for weeks.

It's neat to see how big God is when He puts people in your life at the exact moment you need them... Even if it is only for a moment...

Defeat Me With Your Goodness

2011-10-19T11:39:00.000-07:00

I like blogging. I like writing out my thoughts and going back and seeing where I have been and where God is taking me. Better yet, I like reading blogs. I currently have about 50 subscriptions to other people's blogs. Mostly people I know but some I do not know but like reading what they have to say. I wish I could explore more and read more of what people have to say.

I have recently been reading Donald Miller's blog a lot (as you can tell from a couple of my older posts) and was really touched by one of his recent posts. The post itself wasn't terribly profound and no it didn't bring me to tears (as many things often do...), but there was one phrase that just grabbed my attention and made me think. "God, defeat me with Your Goodness!" I am not sure what exactly I like about this phrase. It might just be that I really feel like I have been and continue to be defeated my God's goodness. A couple months ago, I opened myself up to God and His plan for my life and told Him to take control. And lately I have been so overwhelmed by His goodness and His plan that I have felt defeated. Not defeated like I want to give up but defeated like I want Him to pump the breaks a little and slow down a little.

The post is pretty short and I definitely recommend reading it if you have time, but if you don't, I think the last paragraph wraps it all up nicely:

"So here we are, temporary beings, with little to do but navigate our days in truth and humility. Perhaps it not the bigness of our personalities, but our smallness, our selves being defeated that will change the little bit of world God has appointed to us for caretaking. We connect with God when we ask Him to defeat in us all the ways in which He cannot connect, all the untruth and games and manipulation and we come to Him finally saying, okay, I get it, you really are good, defeat in me the lack of faith, let your goodness rid me of the stuff that doesn’t connect with you or the world around me"

Nerd Alert!

2011-10-17T11:24:00.000-07:00

DISCLAIMER: I am a nerd... I am well aware... If you don't care for nerdy things... don't read...

Next week I am going to be teaching a couple of classes for our 6th grade Outdoor Ed program. I am really excited because I get to teach about Math in Nature. I wrote the curriculum for it last week and I literally can't stop thinking about it. It's fun to plan something and be so excited about it that you just sort of accept the fact that other people might not think it is as cool as you do. I think seeing Math in Nature is super cool. For example, the Fibonacci Sequence (1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55...) can be seen everywhere in Nature! Take the family tree of a male Honey Bee:

- A male Honey Bee is produced from the unfertilized egg of a Queen (female that is fed special hormones in order to produce eggs) Bee. Meaning they only have one parent.
- A female Honey Bee is produced from a fertilized egg: i.e. they have a mom and a dad.

So if we trace the family tree of a Male Honey Bee, you get something that looks like the following.
Anyone notice a pattern? If you go up the levels, you will notice that you have 1 Bee, who has 1 parent, who has 2 parents, then 3 parents, then 5 parents... And so on and so forth... It's the Fibonacci sequence people... So Cool!!!

I know I am a nerd... Don't say I didn't warn you!

Let's Talk

2011-10-14T15:41:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have a conversation with someone that reminds you that you are not the only one who feels the way you do? That you aren't alone in your thoughts and ideas? That you aren't crazy?

I had one of those conversations today with a friend. It started out innocent enough. I hadn't seen her in awhile so I filled her in on my life and my family really briefly and then asked her how she was doing and how her family was. Well who knew that a little question would open up a conversation that would remind me of just how Big God is. She was so honest and open about her life and feeling burnt out and wanting to move on and feeling like God has something bigger planned for her and her family then staying in this little town and going through the motions. She talked about how she has been feeling God moving in her life recently and how she feels conflicted with what she has holding her here in her life and what the desires of her heart are. She is also confused and doesn't know if these desires are actual desires of her heart or a calling of the Lord.

It was kinda crazy and I can't really explain it but she put into words a lot of the same feelings that I have been having recently. Feelings of being burnt out (not with anything in particular but with things as a whole)... Big desires/dreams that terrify me but excite me to the point of tears... confusion in trying to distinguish my desires from what God has called me to do... And then guilt for having desires and not being content with what God has already given and done in my life... And the list goes on and on... And has been going on and on for about a month and a half (hence the lack of updates since the beginning of September). Today reminded me how great it feels to talk to someone about these thoughts and these feelings. It was a great reminder that I am not alone in these feelings. That I am loved and supported by many people around me that I need to reach out to in this huge time of transition in my life.

Thank You God for this reminder. And please give me the courage to share my feelings with others. Open doors and paths to where you want me to go. God, you know the desires of my heart God. But not my will but Yours be done!

Dream

2011-10-14T13:56:00.000-07:00

Do you ever hear a song that just meets you where you are, right at that exact moment and time? I came across that song today. And listened to it four times bringing me to tears each and every time thinking about the things God has been putting on my heart lately.

Dream

By Priscilla Ahn

I was a little girl alone in my little world

who dreamed of a little home for me.

I played pretend between the trees,

and fed my houseguests bark and leaves,

and laughed in my pretty bed of green.

I had a dream

That I could fly from the highest swing.

I had a dream.

Long walks in the dark through woods

grown behind the park,

I asked God who I'm supposed to be.

The stars smiled down on me,

God answered in silent reverie.

I said a prayer and fell asleep.

I had a dream

That I could fly from the highest tree.

I had a dream.

Now I'm old and feeling grey.

I don't know what's left to say

about this life I'm willing to leave.

I lived it full and I lived it well,

there's many tales I've lived to tell.

I'm ready now, I'm ready now,

I'm ready now to fly from the highest wing.

I had a dream

2011-09-03T20:47:00.001-07:00

Do you ever have a moment in your day when you think, "Oh I can't wait to tell So-and-so about this"? Or do you ever have a lull in your evening and think, "I'll call So-and-so..."? I was thinking about that the other night... Mostly because I don't have a "So-and-so." I don't mean that to be a, "boohoo me... I don't have any friends... I'm so lonely..." that's not what I am saying here... All I am saying is when I come to a point in my day when there is a lull, or something exciting happens, I sometimes wish that I had a "So-and-so"...

Show Me Your Glory

2011-08-31T19:37:00.000-07:00

I see the clouds, I step in

I want to see Your glory as Moses did

Flashes of light, Rolls of thunder

I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid

Show me Your glory, Show me Your glory

I'm awed by Your beauty, lost in Your eyes

I want to walk in Your presence like Jesus did

Your glory surrounds me and I'm overwhelmed

I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid

Show me Your glory, Show me Your glory

I want to look on the face of the One that I love

Long to stay; in Your presence is where I belong

I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid

Show me Your glory, Show me Your glory

What does it look like to daily pursue God? To desire to be close to Him? What if we were faced with the awe-inspiring beauty of His glory daily? What would it be like to actually be lost in His eyes? I think I would be afraid. But I want to see Your glory God. Show me Your glory! "I want to look on the face of the One that I love. Long to stay; in Your presence is where I belong."

Fears vs. Dreams

2011-08-30T11:23:00.000-07:00

"We don’t normally face our fears willingly. Usually, God has to woo us into the desert. We are either chasing love or some other desire, and we find ourselves in the midst of a situation in which we have very little control. And when we lose control, we go into a mild form of trauma. But the good news is the greatest stories are lived in the desert. The great lives are lived in the places we most fear. If we fear being rejected, the great story has us standing at the door with flowers in our hands, if we fear losing love, the great stories have us letting that person go rather than clinging to them. If we fear taking a chance on a dream, the great stories have us quitting our jobs." - Donald Miller

Yesterday I started my last semester of my undergraduate education. It's going to be a pretty easy semester as far as school work goes, but as I start to transition into the next stage of my life and figure out where God wants to take me, I definitely have been finding myself facing some big fears but dreaming some big dreams. Amber posted a link to Donald Miller's Blog yesterday that got me really excited about the future. I am excited to face my fears in pursuit of my dreams with the strength and courage that only God can provide. I needed to read this blog today and see this video. Thanks for sharing Amber!

Flawz

2011-08-30T11:17:00.000-07:00

So overdone, but never said enough...

Psalm 139
¹ You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
² You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
³ You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
⁴ Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
⁵ You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
⁸ If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
⁹ If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
¹² even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

¹³ For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made;
your works are WONDERFUL,
I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts,^[a] God!
How vast is the sum of them!
¹⁸ Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.

¹⁹ If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
²⁰ They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
²¹ Do I not hate those who hate you, LORD,
and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
²² I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
²³ Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
²⁴ See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

God Provides

2011-08-22T18:30:00.000-07:00

God is so good and He never ceases to amaze me how He always provides. I was coming out of this summer and going into this last semester of school, broke and broken, stressed about money and trying desperately to find a job in order to pay for this semester of school on top of my other bills. Then, out of no where, when I was close to the end of the rope, God provided. I was just offered well over the amount of my tuition in Grants which will help me cover the remaining cost of books, parking, and maybe even a laptop sometime in the future... Thank You God for always providing for me! Lord I am AMAZED by You! You are so Good!!!

2011-08-14T12:16:00.001-07:00

I was listening to a sermon last weekend about discontentment in our relationship with Christ. The pastor mostly talked about how discontentment is actually a good thing in our faith. We should never be at a place in our relationship where we think we have enough. We should always be desiring more and more of Christ. We should desire to be closer and closer and to know more and more about Him.

I was really convicted and somewhat encouraged by that sermon. I have never really been where I want to be in my walk with Christ and I think that's ok. I think it's really easy as Christians to get complacent in our walks and I struggle with that sometimes. We should be desiring more.

"When I search for You everyday, I find how whole you make me. When I lay down all of my will, I am found within Your love."

This is my desire. To search for Christ everyday. And to find myself in His love.

2011-08-02T23:13:00.001-07:00

Remember when a High School boy last week said, "Michaela, you look beautiful tonight"? Why should something like that make me want to cry? Probably because it was the nicest, most genuine thing I have ever heard from a guy. Even though he is in High School and it is slightly weird and inappropriate, it kinda brought tears to me eyes.

2011-08-02T23:02:00.001-07:00

Saying Goodbye, Going away.
Seems like Goodbye's such a hard thing to say.
Touching a hand, wondering why,
It's time for saying Goodbye.

Saying Goodbye, why is it sad?
Makes us remember the good times we've had.
Much more to say, foolish to try,
It's time for saying Goodbye.

Don't want to leave, but we both know
Sometimes it's better to go
Somehow I'll know, we'll meet again
Not sure quite where, and I don't know just when.
You're in my heart, so until then,
Wanna smile, wanna cry,
Saying Goodbye.

Today's goodbye was hard. I'm not really sure why. Maybe it's because it was my last roommate. Maybe it's just too many goodbye's over and over again. Maybe my heart is just hurting and is finally letting loose. But today I cried. A lot. Why do Goodbyes hurt so much? Even ones that aren't real goodbyes but more see you later's?

Notty...

2011-08-01T10:08:00.000-07:00

Welp... Summer program is now over. So many thoughts and feelings have been rushing through me these last few days. I plan on writing a full summary of the summer in a few days when I finish processing the whole summer, but for now I would just like to say that I have been stretched and bent in so many different ways this summer and it has been a blessing to watch God work in my life and the lives of others around me. It really was/is a blessing to have worked with such amazing people and I am so sad to see them go (there is nothing like going through the 5 stages of grief over and over again over the course of a week as you watch people leave). But I am so excited to see and hear how God will work in their lives this year!

Today I go back to hosting with three groups, including Camp Spin Off with DJ Tina T! Can't wait!

Baby You're a Firework!!!

2011-07-09T10:42:00.000-07:00

I don't know if anyone saw the VC star the other day, but maybe some FHOV staffies were in it... They were a little crazy at the Parade... Standard! (We are also in the Ojai Valley news if you get that subscription...)

Dream Maker

2011-07-08T08:20:00.000-07:00

This week I was given the amazing opportunity to be a Dream Maker for about 100 terminally ill kids ages 4-14. Going into the week, I had no idea what to expect. My naive mind thought I would be surrounded with visibly sick and feeble kids that would pull at my heart strings and cause me to spend the week hiding my tears behind my sunglasses. Upon arrival day, this was apparently not the case. As kids started pouring out of cars and busses, I was shocked at how normal these kids looked. Yeah, some were losing or have lost their hair, a few had some physical disabilities, but after watching them play and run around camp for about an hour, it was evident that these were just normal kids who just wanted to play and have fun!

This summer our staff is studying some of the Pslams and this week we were studying Psalm 27. Reading through this Psalm about fear and God being the stronghold of our lives was a great way for our staff to start the week and as I went about my week, I repeated verse 13 which says, "I remain confident in this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living." There were so many times this week where I saw the "goodness of the LORD in the land of the living," but for now I will only share two of them...

The first way I saw the goodness of the LORD was when I was working REC. This week at REC we sort of cut back on some of the rules we have and allowed anyone who wanted to go on the Zipline go. Basically the rule was if they could fit in a harness and were within the weight limit, we would figure out a way to let them go. There were a few kids who weren't strong enough to carry the rope up to the launch tower so our staff had to carry the rope up to the to of the hill a few dozen times a day. For those of you who are not familiar with our Zipline, carrying the rope up the hill can be very tiring and it's not usually something you want to do in 95 degree heat with 50% humidity. But our staff gave 110% to helping kids take the rope up the hill. We also had some kids who couldn't climb down the dismount ladders, so I took it upon myself to climb up and carry them down the ladder. There was one little boy who was maybe 8 years old that I carried down the ladder that honestly just melted my heart. Normally I hate walking up the hill, but I found myself putting myself on the Rover position just to run the rope up and down the hill with the little kids. I even found myself volunteering to come in on my day off to work REC just so I could hang out with the kids again. The last day of REC, the little boy who melted my heart the first day came back to REC to ride the Zipline and I literally ran over to Nicki and offered to carry him down the dismount tower when he came down. He came down the Zipline and I carried him off the tower. Then he wanted to go on the other Zipline so I carried him up the hill to the launch tower. As we were walking up the hill, we were chatting and he kept pulling my sunglasses up off my face and started staring into my eyes. I finally asked him if he just wanted to see my eyes and he said yes. I sat up at the top of the hill with him for a bit before he went on the Zipline. Right before he went on the Zipline he made sure that I would be at the bottom to carry him down the ladder again. I promised him I would and ran down the hill to carry him down the ladder again. To see the joy on his face as he rode the Zipline and to hear him cheer and yell in excitement really reminded me of the goodness of the LORD.

The second way I saw the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living was Thursday night. Thursday was Africa day and our staff was asked to be the African entertainment for the night. We put together an African drumming routine accompanied with an African dance and preformed it for the kids. Then we taught the dance to the kids and invited them onto the stage to dance and play drums with us. After playing drums, I went up to the sound booth to play some African music and got to witness what I believe was the most beautiful moment of my life. Seeing the kids dancing and singing on stage with the rest of our staff was such a beautiful thing that it honestly brought tears to my eyes. That night, one of the main leaders also pointed out a girl who had rode the Zipline probably around 10 times this week who was on stage dancing with the biggest smile on her face. The leader told me that this particular girl will be lucky if she makes it through the next two weeks. To see her so full of joy in this particular moment and to think of the fun that she had all week long made me so thankful to have been a part of this amazing organization.

Please continue to pray for healing for these kids. Pray for protection as they go back home/the hospital (since some literally came straight from the hospital and will be going straight back to the hospital tomorrow) tomorrow. And pray that we will continue to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living!!!

Dream Street

2011-07-02T09:40:00.000-07:00

I am so excited to write this post and tell you all of the amazing opportunity I am given this coming week. Next week we do not have program camp but will have a guest group coming (/some are already here) called Dream Street (click on Kids Camp and watch the video... it's awesome!). They are a nonprofit organization that organizes camps for terminally ill kids in order to make their dreams come true. As I write this, some of their volunteers are transforming camp into a Dream center for about 100 campers ages 4-14 who will be arriving tomorrow for what we hope to be the best week of their lives. They are bringing in so much stuff, from 10 tons of snow to a ferris wheel, petting zoo, bouncy houses and so much more.

In addition to this being the best week of these kid's lives, there is a high possibility that this could be the last week of their lives. They have had campers die at camp which is something I am trying to prepare myself for. But I am so encouraged to know that God is so much bigger then these kid's illnesses and could at any moment heal each and every one of these campers.

Please pray for these kids who are coming. Pray for safety and protection for each and every kid this week. And pray for healing for these kids. Most of them have been given a death sentence with their diagnoses, but God is the ultimate healer and is bigger then those diagnoses. Pray that this can be the best week of these kid's lives. And pray that they will come to know Christ through their week here.

Also pray for our staff. Pray that we will not get in the way of what God has in store for these kids this week. This is not a Christian camp so pray that we will be examples of Christ's love to each and every person, kids and volunteers alike, we encounter this week. Pray that God's love will come pouring out of us this week. Pray for strength and courage as we encounter some very sick children.

And finally please pray for me. Pray that God will keep my emotions in check (especially around our campers). Pray that I will be filled with Joy this week as I will be witnessing so much sadness. Pray that no matter what happens this week, I will be able to say Blessed be Your name! I am terrified about this week, but at the same time I am so excited!!! I really do think that this could be one of the best weeks of my life and it is all for the Glory of God! Most importantly please pray that God will be glorified in every aspect of this week!

To God be the Glory! Forever and Ever! Amen!

A Pixilated Life

2011-07-02T08:48:00.000-07:00

Our first week of program camp is now over and I am so excited for the rest of the summer. This last week ran so smoothly and God was absolutely present and moving in the lives of our students, youth leaders, and staff this week.

Our theme this summer is "A Pixilated Life." We are looking at the life of David and how twice in the Bible, we are told that he was a "Man after God's own heart" yet if we zoom in at the pixels that make up the BIG story of his life, we see that there are some very dark pixels in his life. We are looking at David the poet, David the musician, David the warrior, David the adulterer, David the liar, David the murderer... All sides of David, and yet he can be called a man after God's own heart because God has used those dark and light pixels to create a beautiful story of David's life that is still just a small part of God's BIG picture. We are also turning that around and talking about how we are also a part of God's BIG picture. That all of our own dark and light pixels that make up the story of our lives are a part of God's BIGGER picture. It is a really cool theme that applies so well to the lives of our students, leaders, and staff.

Like I said, the first week of program went so well and it's mainly due to the amazing staff that we have again this year. True, a lot of our staff are returning from last year (about 70% of our staff are returners), but our staff has just done a really good job of being energetic and helpful. They also are great at keeping an eye out for each other and giving support when others are feeling weak. Being a part of a community like this is such a blessing and really reminds me of what the early Church looked like. I am so excited to see what God has planned for us the rest of this summer!

2011-05-29T23:13:00.001-07:00

Great news people!!! I got my grades back for this semester:

- Capstone Project: A
- Math for Elem Teachers: A
- Math for Secondary Teachers: A
- Music in History: B
- Political Sociology: B+ (this one was very surprising... All I can say is PTL for the curve)
- Social Psychology: C (kinda bummed about this one but I did awful on all of the quizzes and those where worth 55% of the grade...)

I also heard back from CSUCI and it looks like after next semester I will indeed be a college graduate! Praise the Lord!

2011-05-23T08:47:00.001-07:00

Summer is quickly approaching and in an effort to not slack off too much with my blog, I decided to set up my mobil blogging... So get ready for some short blogs...
In other news, Yesterday was Grandma's birthday. Nae made a cake... Tuesday I move into camp and start a 12 day straight work week (don't worry, I get breaks... And half days off...).

Happy Mother's Day

2011-05-09T08:10:00.000-07:00

So it's a day late... Who cares?

Yesterday was mother's day and for all of you mom's out there, I hope that you felt loved and appreciated yesterday. Yesterday I had the unique opportunity to not only spend Mother's day with my wonderful mommy, but also with both of my Grandmothers. Granted, one of them doesn't celebrate holidays (J.W.) and the other has Alzheimer's, but I still felt blessed to be around three amazing women who have made me who I am today.

Graduation

2011-05-04T09:16:00.001-07:00

Nope. Not me... tricked you!

My little sister Sarah is graduating from college/Nursing School on Monday. She has turned in her final papers and is quickly entering a new stage in her life. I couldn't be happier for her.

At the same time, it's embarrassing to say, yeah my little sister is graduating next week. I feel like the biggest slacker alive for still having another semester ahead of me (which I know that I have been a slacker... I had a solid year or two of being a slacker, which is why she is graduating before me...). I can't help but think how confusing it will be when all of our family and friends get my graduation announcements 6 months after they got Sarah's. I know this seems petty but I am jealous. Maybe it's the fact that I still haven't heard back on my grad check yet to find out if I actually can be done next semester or not... Maybe it's just a little bit of that feeling of 'I'm the older sister so I should accomplish everything I want before my younger sisters'...

Whatever the case may be, Sarah Belle, I am so incredibly proud of you and what you have accomplished. You have worked so hard and have been through so much. You deserve every bit of joy and recognition for what you have accomplished. I love you very much and can't wait to see how God will use you and your gifts in your life!

Bad Tutor

2011-05-03T11:57:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I got called a Bad Tutor...

So here's what happened. I was working in the tutoring center with a girl on some Pre-Calc. There were three other girls working with another tutor on the same subject so I offered for one or two of them to come over and work with us if the other tutor was too busy. The first girl I was helping was great; model student, super nice, asked questions, desired to learn the concepts instead of just getting it done, took directions well (she even emailed me later thanking me for my help and asked if I would tutor her privately for her test coming up)... We finished up and she left so two of the girls from the other group came over. One was good; nice, kinda quiet, definitely just was looking to get the work done instead of understanding the whole concept, but was polite and listened. The other girl was pretty awful; rude, only wanted me to do the problems and give them the answers, impatient, extremely sarcastic (I mean, I get sarcasm... at times I am guilty of some sarcasm... But you know those people who just take it too far? They are so sarcastic that anything out of their mouth is just mean even if it's not true?).

I was getting pretty fed up with this kid (I say kid because she was acting like a kid... maybe 19) by the time we got to the last problem. Without going to much into the mathematics of what we were trying to do, the question wanted us to use a theorem (that I have never seen before... it happens pretty often where something pops up that I have never seen but I usually can read the book a little and find an example and explain it in ways other can understand) to find an exact value of a complex, un-real number. I found an example and followed it but ran into a problem which ended up requiring us to approximate a number to find an exact value (if that's confusing to you, that's because it is... In math we like exact values because they are complete; no information gets lost along the way. As soon as you approximate, you loose information... So to approximate something in order to find an exact values is counter-intuitive and far beyond what you should be doing in Pre-Calc). The girl was so impatient through this whole thing, saying things like "maybe you should ask another tutor... I hear that's what you guys are supposed to do..." and "What's your name? I'm taking names." I did ask another tutor who ran into the same problem so we asked our boss (who runs the tutoring center and just gave her thesis talk or something on some math topic... basically, she's smart and knows her stuff). She went through the exact same process I did and got the exact same result. We gave them some other problems to try that would give them nice answers that they could apply the theorem to and called it a day. By that time, I was off duty and started to pack up my stuff. While I was packing up, the girl, talking to her friends, said, "It's fine, my teacher will just say I had a 'bad tutor' again." I couldn't hold it in any longer so I replied, "Thank you! That's really encouraging. I am glad we could help. You actually can tell you teacher that the person who runs the center helped you with that problem and got the same result."

So really, she didn't call me a bad tutor directly, but implied that someone (her teacher I guess... but I have doubts that any teacher would say that which makes me think it is just her... but I could be wrong) said myself and anyone else who has helped her before in the center were "bad tutors." I talked to my boss about it today and she said that she has had issues with this particular student before and has had to ask her to leave, which makes me feel a little better. Not that I am taking anything that she said seriously because she seemed like a really unhappy person who thinks the world should bow at her feet. Still, it was an interesting way to start out the week.

Re-Post

2011-05-03T11:50:00.000-07:00

I must confess, I didn't write this... I read it on someone else's blog. But I like what she is adding to the conversation...

“10 years, 2 wars, 919,967 deaths, & $1,188,263,000,000 later, we managed to kill one person.” //Anonymous

“Justice has been done.” //President Obama

“America has sent an unmistakeable message…justice will be done.” //President George W. Bush

“We’ve poisoned the word justice with our illusory patriotism.” //Kourtney Jackson

This monumental event is the shot heard round the world. This is a proverbial tsunami sweeping across the United States. Lots of opinions have been stated. We as Americans pledge, “…liberty and justice for all.” But at what cost? Does justice condone the countless lives lost for the sake of the “war on terrorism”? Does justice demand retribution and vengeance? Are we, as humans and children of God, to seek justice?

There are lots of thoughts swimming around in not only my head, but many other people’s brains too. If anything I ask that we, as Christians, would be diligent in prayer. As Americans we should not wave our flags at Muslims, Al Qaeda, or any other country for that matter. God did not send his son just for America. God did not send his son to take on the sins of every single human being in the world solely for America’s gain. We have been shown mercy through the act of what Christ did for us on the cross. We should extend mercy to those that oppose us, those that persecute us, and those that send orders to kill thousands of people’s lives. The Bible tell us to, ” love your enemies. Pray for those who hurt you.” That’s pretty counterculture, eh? I’m not sure many Americans are quick to look up this verse found in Matthew chapter five.

I know what it’s like to lose someone to the “war on terror”. I know what it’s like to pray that my step brother who is in the Marines will make it home safely from being in Afghanistan. There is pain, grief, and much loss because of 9/11. We all feel it. We know the haunting feeling that occurs every September 11.

We, as Christians, need to pray for members of the Bin Laden family, Al Qaeda, and terrorists. Why? Because Christ tells us to. In fact, he doesn’t say it’s just an option if you want to possibly pray for your enemies, he implores us to pray for them. This is the same man who died for corrupt political leaders, terrorists, you, and me. We should seek to be more like Christ in our speech. We should not be quick to praise America’s so called act of justice. I ask you to think. To reflect. To pray.

Above all, “But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without hoping to get anything back. Then you will have a great reward, and you will be children of the Most High God, because he is kind even to people who are ungrateful and full of sin. Show mercy, just as your Father shows mercy. ” (Luke chapter)

America, please have mercy

Regret

2011-04-25T13:53:00.000-07:00

I just registered for my last semester of my Undergraduate degree at CSUCI and I have to say, I feel pretty good about it. As of right now (still waiting to hear back on my graduation application), I am taking 4 classes; one online, two are only one day a week, and the fourth is two days a week. Meaning I will only have to be at school two days a week. It's a dream schedule and I am really praying that it works out.

Right now I am feeling pretty good, but a couple of weeks ago, I was starting to feel a bit of regret in regards to my degree. Switching majors and schools was a big mess for me and I made the difficult decision to not pursue a math degree with, what I feel, was not a whole lot of information or knowledge of what I was capable of. My friend keeps asking my why I am not a Math major and I keep telling him its because I didn't want to spend the rest of my life in school. I needed to see an end to this. I needed to move on with my life. But it wasn't until he told me "You should have been a Math Major" that I started to feel some regret about my decision. Don't get me wrong, I am happy to be done (almost). I am happy to be moving onto the next step. I am happy in the path I am taking. But there is that little voice in my head now saying "You should have been a Math Major." I know it's a normal voice. I am sure many people hear the same voice as they come to the end of their schooling. But there it is... The little voice inside my head...

Two Month Preview

2011-04-20T09:28:00.000-07:00

Fri - April 22: Engagement Party (no not mine... duh!)

Sun - April 24: Easter Sunrise (not the same ol' BS)

Mon - April 25: Register for, what I hope, is my last semester of my undergrad

Mon - May 2: Music in History Term Paper Due

Sat - May 7: CSET Math (or at least a part of it since I can't afford to take the whole test...)

Mon - May 9: Political Sociology Term Paper Due & Sarah's Nursing School Graduation

Wed-Fri - May 11-13: EXPED

Wed - May 11: Capstone Presentation

Mon-Thur - May 16-19: Finals

Tues - May 17: Social Psychology Term Paper Due

Fri-Sun - May 20-21: Host

Wed-Fri - May 25-27: EXPED

Sat - May 28: Villanova Graduation

Sat-Wed - May 28- June 1: Host

Wed-Fri - June 1-3: EXPED

Fri-Sun - June 3-5: Host

Wed - June 8: Summer Staff Begins...

Maybe feeling a little overwhelmed...

No, No... It's Fine

2011-04-20T09:20:00.000-07:00

No, no... It's fine... A girl brought her dog to class yesterday. A little yappy thing with lots of hair. Carried it in a Trader Joe's bag. Made a little seat/bed for it in the chair next to her. The professor didn't care. He thought it was cute... It did try to attack him towards the end of class though which was pretty funny...

Where is the funniest place you have ever seen someone bring their little dog? (not an assistance dog... a little one that fits in a bag...)

Superiority...

2011-04-20T09:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday in class a girl got up and started talking about a Human Trafficking event that is happening at my school in a week or so. She stood up there talking about for a little while and all I could think about was how much information she was getting wrong and how poor of a job she was doing and inviting people to this event. I felt superior to her for knowing more about it and for having known about it for several years. I felt this way for most of her presentation (which ended with an invitation to an Invisible Children event on campus which was sparked a whole nother set of feelings of "yeah, old news... Trendy issue...") and then had to take a step back and ask myself "What in the world are you thinking? Yeah, Human Trafficking is something you were really passionate and concerned about years ago, but that drive has faded. What are you doing to help the cause? Maybe this isn't new news but it's not old news. This is current news. This is something that was not only a problem 5 years ago but it was a problem 50 years ago and it's a problem now. Today. And she is doing something about it. Why aren't you?"

Sometimes I catch myself feeling superior to others. The only thing I can think to do is take a step back and knock myself down a few pegs before someone else does... It doesn't matter how many people show up for the event. The truth is she is bettering God's Kingdom here and now. And it makes me think... What am I doing?

Buy You A Drink...

2011-03-31T00:42:00.001-07:00

So I don't really do the "bar scene" but I go to bars when the band is playing (and I'm not working) to sell merch, do sound, and just kinda help out. So I've been to my share of bars recently and tonight was the first time that someone offered to buy me a drink...

No, no... It wasn't a romantic, gross, "I'm trying to pick you up" kind of offer. I was chatting with this guy about the band (cause I was doing sound) and he offered to buy me a drink. I was sort of caught off guard by that proposal and didn't really know how to respond. What are you supposed to do when someone offers to buy you a drink? I mean, in one sense, at the time, I was sort of representing the band to someone who was interested in knowing more about the band and turning him down might reflect poorly on the band. On the other hand, I am my own person and not a part of the band and if I don't want a drink I can politely and respectfully say "No thank you." What would you do if someone offered to buy you a drink?

I took the drink.

What Is It?

2011-03-29T13:10:00.000-07:00

"What is it that when you do it, you lose track of time because you get lost in it? What do you do that makes you think, "I could do this forever"? What is it that makes you think, "I was made for this"?

Something I have been thinking a lot about lately... Any thoughts?

Spring Break!

2011-03-26T10:41:00.000-07:00

I think this is the first Spring break in my 6 year college experience that I actually did something fun...

Spring Break started a little early for me (last Thursday to be exact) when I took the day off school to go buy myself a new Iphone 4. It's something I've been holding off on for awhile, but I am so happy with it. I've had it for a little more then a week and I am already convinced that it has changed my life!

Friday was a late night with the Emy Reynolds Band at Billy O's in Ventura. I was helping out with sound and merch for their 10 pm show that started around 12am... Despite it being a late night (got home maybe around 2:30am), the show was great and the audience was awesome! I can't wait for the girls to play another show at Billy O's!

Saturday was a long but fun day. 9 am Holly and I headed down to Santa Clarita for one of our favorite youth pastors going away party. It was a day full of lots of people coming and going but also a day of reconnecting with some old friends and looking towards the future. We ended up leaving SC around 9pm and getting back to Ojai around 10ish.

Sunday was a much needed day of rest beginning with church and a little afternoon nap. Holly and I had planned to go up to Templeton to visit another youth group from summer, but due to the overabundance of dumping rain, we decided against the 3+ hour drive (6+ hours driving round trip) to and from Templeton on a Sunday afternoon... Instead we joined our church family for a little bit of community time at the Wreck Room in Ojai.

Monday was the start of a very fun, two day trip to San Diego. I hadn't been to San Diego in several years and was excited to visit my friend Lo and see another one of our churches from summer. Holly and I had planned to leave at 9 am, but we pushed it back to 10 am so we could both take a much needed cat nap. The drive was smooth and easy. We made one stop in San Clemente to visit the Rainbow Outlet and grab some lunch which quickly turned into a 1 and a half hour stop (I blame the Rainbow store... we could have stayed there for hours!). By the time we made it to SD, it was just about time to pick Lo up from school. We made a quick stop while we waited to get some coffee and walk around Ross. After picking up Lo, we drove her home and sat and visited with Jenny (Lo's mom and an incredible woman of God!) for a bit before heading over to one of RBCPC's youth leader's house for dinner. We ended up staying and watching Dancing with the Stars before heading back to Lo's house for the night. We stayed up late chatting with Jenny but finally decided to head to bed a little after midnight.

Tuesday morning was a little bit of a sleep in day (for me, sleeping in means lying in bed, completely awake, but not getting up out of complete laziness). Lo headed off to school while Holly and I stayed and had breakfast with Jenny. Jenny poured into us that morning for a couple of hours about life, love, work, marriage, and family before heading off to work at the Zoo selling hot dogs and beer. What an inspirational woman! I could honestly sit and listen to her for hours (which we kinda did...). After that Holly and I made a quick run to Target before picking Lo up from school and heading over to hang out with some RBCPC peeps. The staff were having a lunch meeting when we showed up so we sat and chatted for a bit before grabbing some lunch ourselves. After lunch we went on an adventure to find some thrift stores. We were in charge of the game for youth group and decided to play 'Baby on a Rope' (picture 'Skip It' but with lots of people in a circle jumping over a Baby Doll tied to the end of a long rope that's being swung around and around...) so we had to find a baby doll and some rope. All I can say is thank God for the Iphone. It made finding the Thrift store so easy and completely headache free! It turns out that a couple miles up the street from the church were a whole cluster of Thrift stores (including one owned and operated by RBCPC, which I thought was pretty cool for a church to operate something like that...). We eventually found a Baby and some rope and headed back to the church. We hung out for a few hours with the staff (practicing Baby on a Rope, sliding down their newly built, indoor half-pipe, and a little bit of grocery shopping for one of the other games) before the kids arrived. Quickly the room filled up with Jr. High students and even broke the room capacity (capacity was 97 and there were 98 people including adults and students... I was put on counting the people in the room...). Youth Group went really well and really made me miss helping out at our own youth group and hanging out with Jr High and High School students. After youth group ended we took Lo home and hoped in the camp van to head back to Ojai at 10:40 pm. Despite a quick stop at In N Out on the way home, we managed to make it back to Ojai by 1:40 am (that's right... 3 hour from SD to Ojai and I wasn't even driving that fast... Gotta love that late night driving!) thus ending my fun Spring Break adventures.

The next couple of days were filled with classroom observations, naps, and gym visits. This week was just the break I needed to fill me up and re-energize me for the weeks/months to come. It's crazy how God can take a busy week of late nights, driving, and running around to rejuvenate you and excite you about the future. After this, things are going to start to get pretty busy, but I am very excited to see what God has in store for me.

Long Time Traveller

2011-03-09T10:27:00.000-08:00

I have a new obsession. I hate calling them obsessions, but what else do you call it when you repeat a song 10 times just to focus on a new part and hear the intricacies of perfect harmony? Maybe a love. I have a new love. All I can say is this song better be sung at my funeral!

The Wailin' Jennys are rather remarkable. Their lyrics and harmonies warm my sole and bring joy to my heart! I haven't gotten this excited about a band/group/musician in a long time! What a great feeling!

Long Time Traveller (Traditional)

Ye fleeting charms of earth

Farewell, your springs of joy are dry

My soul now seeks another home

A brighter world on high

I'm a long time travelling here below

I'm a long time travelling away from home

I'm a long time travelling here below

To lay this body down

Farewell kind friends whose tender care

Has long engaged my love

Your fond embrace I now exchange

For better friends above

I'm a long time travelling here below

I'm a long time travelling away from home

I'm a long time travelling here below

To lay this body down

Feeling the Love

2011-03-04T19:35:00.000-08:00

Have you ever gotten a great hug?

A hug where someone holds you tight and doesn't let go?

Not in a creepy, trying to be awkward way. And not in a romantic way either. But in a, I haven't seen you in a long time and I have missed you kind of way. I'm not talking about the, I'm so excited to see you so we are going to sway here hugging each other kind of hug either. It's the I love and care about you, friend hug, where you just stand there holding onto each other for awhile. I know it's not very descriptive (or maybe it's too descriptive), but I got one of those hugs today, and while I wanted to pull away (because that is our natural response right? To pull away after a quick pat on the back hug...) I couldn't. I was blown away by the amount of love that I felt from that single hug.

I wish I could get more hugs like that.

Confession

2011-03-03T12:47:00.000-08:00

I have a confession to make... Today I was listening to my ipod on shuffle (as I usually do... Too many songs to just focus on one or two playlists so I play it on shuffle to get the best random sampling of my favorite songs.) when a Christmas song came on... Rather then skip it as I normally do, I let it play through... Not only did I let to play through, I pushed repeat to listen to it again. What can I say? I am a sucker for great lyrics and a key that I can sing in...

O Holy Night

O Holy night, the stars are brightly shining.
It is the night of our dear Saviour's birth.
Long lay the world in sin and error pining,
Till he appeared and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.

Fall on your knees! Oh hear the angel voices!
Oh night divine! Oh night when Christ was born!
Oh night divine! Oh night! Oh night divine!

Truly He taught us to love one another;

His law is love and His Gospel is peace.

Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother

And in His Name all oppression shall cease.

Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,

Let all within us praise His holy Name!

Christ is the Lord. Oh praise his name forever!

Oh night divine, Oh night when Christ was born!

Oh night divine, Oh holy night, Oh night divine!

Another One Bites the Dust...

2011-03-01T12:22:00.000-08:00

Well, it's kinda a funny (long) story, but we have been having some problems with Raccoons these last few weeks. They have already eaten 7 of our chickens by means of breaking through the coop windows and roof. Last night we (my dad, mom, nae, and I) embarked on a little operation destroy the raccoons... We found them underneath the coop and attempted to get rid of them by means of which I would rather not discuss in a public forum. The sneaky little buggers wouldn't budge despite kicking the walls, shaking the coop, poking and prodding... We eventually had to forfeit for the evening and put our remaining 5 chickens in our dog crate and bird cage to try and keep them safe over night.

Not only are the raccoons a danger to our poor dumb chickens, they seem to have become a threat to our dogs as well. Yesterday morning I walked out of my room to find Mika hopping around the back yard. My mom and I brought her in and tried to take a look at her foot that she seemed to be avoiding but all we could really see was some irritation and swelling. We had a similar situation last November when Toby hurt his foot in the backyard, but his was obviously a problem because he was bleeding everywhere. Since Mika wasn't bleeding, we decided to bandage her foot up in an attempt to get her to stop licking it to try and get the swelling to go down. Later that evening we took another look at her foot and saw that the pad of her foot and one of her digits were severely severed and would definitely need stitches. After going through the whole thing with Toby and his foot, let's just say we were less then thrilled at the thought of having to do it again with Mika... We are also more motivated then ever to get rid of those stupid raccoons by any means necessary...

Engaged - Incomplete

2011-02-28T13:35:00.000-08:00

Friday night I got a text from my very good friend, Pam: "I'M ENGAGED!!!! :-)" She (and I) knew it would happen sometime this year, but she (we) was so surprised by this proposal. Alex flew out to Boston to surprise her and successfully came back engaged. They are a wonderful couple with God at the very center of their relationship. I love them both so much and I couldn't be happier for them.

Despite an overabundance of joy for my friends, I must confess that I did have to fight some feelings of being inadequate and incomplete in my singleness. I know these thoughts are lies; I have been made complete by Jesus' sacrifice on the Cross and I am accepted and loved by God (which I had to continually remind myself of this weekend). Nevertheless, these horrible thoughts entered my mind and I have been struggling to overcome them. It doesn't help that the world and everything around me tells me that I am incomplete as a single woman. But I am pushing through it and am trying to focus on the great things that God is doing around and through me; not to mention how happy I am for the soon to be Pam and Alex Vaughn.

Ring Around The Rosey

2011-02-23T13:09:00.000-08:00

Life is in full swing right now and I don't really know where the time has gone... It's almost March and it's almost time for Spring Breaks... School has been going well so far. It's interesting shifting from taking pretty heavy Math loads to taking heavy everything else loads. Studying and learning stuff for Math classes is a totally different process for me then studying and learning stuff for any other class. It is nice to be tutoring though and keeping up with my upper division math memory. I do like my classes and I am looking forward to start doing my classroom observation hours (which I will start next week and try to complete within a span of about 3-4 weeks...).

When I am not at school, I have been doing a lot of babysitting which is a little surprising. The last two weeks in a row, I have spent the day with my 9 month old cousin Noah while his parents were at work. He's super cute and a fun age to play with.

I have also been watching my cousin's 3 month old baby Hailey. It's fun to see how much a couple of months can make in an infant. Hailey is at that stage where all she does is eat, sleep, smile, and then sleep some more.

But she is too cute so I can't really complain. Monday my parents were watching Hailey and her older brother Jameson so I took off school early to go hang out with them as well. Jameson LOVES his Uncle David so much and follows him around everywhere.

Whatever Uncle David does, he does. Whatever Uncle David eats, he wants to eat...

By the end of the day they both were so tired, they passed out on the floor. The kid is just too cute and it makes me very excited to see my parents as grandparents (excited... but I'm in no rush...)

It's been a fun break from school and work and I hope to have the opportunity to continue watching these kids.

Applied

2011-02-16T08:59:00.001-08:00

Well, it's been awhile since I have updated this here blog of mine. I guess I've just been preoccupied with the new semester and trying to figure out all of my observation stuff (or I just haven't really had anything interesting to say...).

I had to take a minute though to let everyone know that yesterday I turned in my application to graduate Fall 2011. I am very excited at the prospect of finally graduating and am praying that there are no surprises in the courses that I think I have to take next semester.

As far as this semester goes, I am settling in nicely. 18 units is kinda a lot and I have kinda had a rough time getting myself motivated to do stuff (standard), but it's week 4 and it's time to get my butt in gear. After all, I'll be graduating soon...

Snow Day

2011-01-07T13:37:00.000-08:00

How did I welcome in the New Year, you ask? Hanging out with my good buddies Grace, Beau, and Milo... Yes, they are animals. I was house-sitting and under the weather so I went to bed early. The New year is going well though and I am very excited about the things that are on the agenda for this year.

First: I am committed and prayerfully looking forward to another summer at Forest Home Ojai Valley. God has blessed me so much with the amazing opportunity to continue working there these last few months and I can't wait to see what He has in store for me through guest groups and summer program.

Second: I have two semesters left before getting my Bachelors. There have been many times in the last several years that I thought this would never happen, but to actually know that (if everything goes well) at the end of this year, I will be a college graduate.

Third: I need to start preparing for my CSET Math exam which I am looking to take in March. If that goes well, then I will be applying to a Credential program for next Spring.

I know it doesn't look like much, but this is kinda a big year for me. I am so thankful for getting to this point and I am very much looking forward to what God has in store for me this year...

To start, I am getting ready to head up to Mill Creek for a little Rec staff bonding time! I can't wait! Time for some snow!!!

I'm Good...

2010-12-24T08:35:00.000-08:00

COMP 447	SOCIETAL ISSUES IN COMPUTING	3.00	Letter Grade	B	9.000
ENGL 120	AMERICAN LITERATURE I	3.00	Letter Grade	B+	9.900
MATH 202	BIOSTATISTICS	3.00	Letter Grade	A	12.000
MATH 208	MODERN MATH FOR ELEMENTARY TCH	3.00	Letter Grade	A+	12.000
MATH 240	LINEAR ALGEBRA	3.00	Letter Grade	A	12.000
MATH 399	MODERN TOOLS IN MATH	1.00	Credit / No Credit	CR
MATH 399	MODERN TOOLS IN MATH	1.00	Credit / No Credit	CR

As much as I complain about it... and as much as I dislike it... I'm kinda good at it...

Merry Christmas

2010-12-22T12:59:00.000-08:00

I have always struggled with Christmas time... I can't stand the commercialization of Christmas... The hustle and bustle drives me nuts and people have always called me a Grinch or Scrooge because of it... It usually starts with the early playing of Christmas music that just pushes me over the edge. But this year, I really asked God to kinda work on my heart about the whole hatred towards Christmas thing and I really can say that I am happy that it's Christmas time. I am looking forward to spending time with my family and friends. And I have finally found some Christmas music that I not only can stand, but really like!

So in honor of Christmas time, here are some of my new favorite Christmas arrangements. Enjoy!

Erin McCarley - "Little Drummer Boy"

(Also see Katie Herzig's version of "Silent Night")

Seabird - "Joy to the World"

(Seabird's "Over the Hills and Everywhere" Christmas album is fantastic... So different from what anyone is used to, but so beautiful!)

Also look for Matthew Perryman Jones' "O Holy Night," Jill Phillips' "It Came Upon the Midnight Clear," and Many Mann's "O Come All Ye Faithful" on the "Your King Has Come" album. Absolutely beautiful!

Ingrid Michaelson - "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas"

Record Holder

2010-12-15T14:24:00.000-08:00

I've been pretty quiet about this, but I thought it was time to share. For the past several months I have been training with my dad to compete in Powerlifting competitions. This last Saturday was my first competition in Powerlifting and I have to say it was really fun! It was neat to see all the different guys participating in the competition. A lot of the older guys had great stories about powerlifting back in the day and it was funny to see them react to the young bucks who "know it all." For being such an individual event, the camaraderie that I experienced was truly a blast!

So... How did I do? Well, I won 1st for my class (there was no one else in my class...) and got invited to work out with Scott Mendelson and his family at his gym in Chatsworth. Who is Scott Mendelson you ask? Well he just so happens to be someone who holds the record for both raw and assisted bench press. How much has we benched? Well, raw (without a bench shirt), he holds the record of 715lbs and with the bench shirt, he holds the record of benching 1009 lbs! Needless to say, he is a strong dude and he invited my dad to come lift with him (his wife invited me... that's why I say I was invited... He didn't technically invite me, but his wife did which I still consider an invite). Along with 1st place in my class and an invite to work out with the Mendelson family, I established an American Record for raw bench (there was no record so anything I benched would have set it...). More importantly, I set a personal best of 133lbs (I have been stuck at 125lbs for a while so I was super pumped to break through that). The best part of the whole day, I have to say is spending time with my dad and seeing him light up as he chatted with the other athletes. I am super excited for the next meet, but I have a lot of work to do before then... For now, I guess I can add American Record holder to my list of accomplishments...

Speaking Of...

2010-12-02T11:20:00.000-08:00

Speaking of blogs, here is a funny one on this week's episode of The Fashion Show Ultimate Collection on Bravo featuring Ojai native Dominique Pearl David. It's fun watching someone you know on a national television show. It's also really funny to see how networks spin things to make shows more interesting. The show is basically a really bad version of Project Runway, but it's fun seeing someone you know and rooting for them even though it's already been filmed. If you haven't turned into this show, you should. Even though it's a bad knock-off version of Project Runway, it's pretty entertaining to see what Calvin is going to say next... "Oh here go hell come!"

Avalanche of Gossip?

2010-12-02T10:44:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I submitted a 6 page research paper on blogs and I thought it only appropriate to write a blog entry on it. The prompt was similar to any research project; tell the history of blogs, where did they come from? Compare blogs to Usenet... The overall direction of the paper was to determine whether blogs illustrate empowerment and increased availability of information, or do they illustrate the avalanche of gossip and inaccurate or useless information on the Net? Considering that I have had this blog for the last 4 years, I thought that this was the best topic to choose for my research paper.

Blogs first came onto the scene in the mid 1990s with OpenDiary and later followed by LiveJournal and our beloved Blogger (later bought by Google in 2003). Usenet, for those of you who don't know is an online discussion program where users can submit articles and respond/post new articles in response to those articles. Basically it's a very early form of blogging that gives way less control to the users but allows for some great discussions on a global scale. Blogs are useful in all areas of life, from classrooms to large companies to a mini journal of the life of a 23 year old, 7 year plan college student. There are thousands of inaccurate blogs out there and yes, many quickly become "an avalanche of gossip" but I truly believe that as long as people have something to say, blogs with exist and thrive (well, until something better comes out...).

I Might Be Smart...

2010-11-18T11:02:00.000-08:00

This semester has been a tough one for sure. Not necessarily in the content of the classes I have, but more in my daily schedule. Being at school Monday-Thursday from 9am-6pm is a big commitment and I don't think I realized that until it was too late.

But anyway, I only have 3 more weeks of this semester and then finals (two and a half really because the week of Thanksgiving is only a half week). I just got back my last two midterms of the semester (in math classes, the professors usually do two midterms and the final... so they really should be called tri-terms but midterms is usually what we call them...) and I was pleasantly surprised with the results. Like I said, the semester has been kinda hard and I have started to fall back into old bad habits of ditching class (especially my two classes that are from 4:30-5:45pm), but to be fair, my Biostats class only involves me sitting on facebook not paying attention (just like the rest of the class) and my Modern Math 4 Elementary Children is absolutely ridiculous! So I ditch a class here and there and before I realize it, I haven't been to class in two weeks and I have a midterm the next week (which is what happened in my Biostats class). I studied like crazy all week long to prepare for the test, and I ended up getting 100%. Holy crap, I might be smart! I also had a midterm in my Linear Algebra class which is my hardest class this semester and I got the highest grade in the class! I might be smart!

I get to register for next semester on the 29th and I have a schedule that I am shooting for. It'll be another 18 units this semester and then 15 the following semester, but then I should be done. It's nice to see the light at the end of the tunnel...

What Do You Say?

2010-11-04T12:30:00.001-07:00

Yesterday in my Linear Algebra lab, my friend told me that over break she was getting her boobs done. Really? Who tells people in a Linear Algebra math lab stuff like that? I didn't really know how to respond to that information. I said "awesome" or something along those lines. I really didn't know what to say. It's not like she needs her boobs done either. She has to be at least a 'C' cup already... Why do people like getting their boobs done? It's not like she's gonna be any more comfortable running those marathons that she does... I just don't really get it, but if it makes her and her fiance happy, who am I to stop her?

Poems

2010-10-28T10:59:00.000-07:00

Sometimes my grandma finds things from her past and shares them with us. The other day she found three poems that she wrote when she was younger that I thought I would share...

Dreams and Realtiy
by Linda Andrews

When I was a little girl, my hopes were all a dream.
Someday I'd be a mother, someday I'd be a queen.

I'd own a lovely castle, with children all around.
I'd have a loving husband, to share my royal crown.

Now I am not a little girl, but somehow I have found,
My dreams are a reality, my castle and my crown.

I have four lovely children, to give me love and joy.
To share with me their treasures, their dreams, and their rewards.

My husband is the fortress, in all that's said and done.
His strength and hope surrounds us, we're guarded with his love.

What more could I have hoped for, what more could I have dreamed,
I have the love, I have the joy, so few have ever seen.

Poems by Linda Andrews

I called to God in my distress,
I prayed for joy and happiness,
He told me just to love and pray
and ask no more than for this day.
He said He'd guide my every step
and give me joy of inner depth,
A peace and joy for each new day,
to guide in all I do and say.

I took Him at His word and prayed,
for guidance all along the way,
I asked no more than for today,
and prayed for Him to guard my ways.
He filled my life with hope and love,
with His great guidance from above
Now I have peace for each new day,
and happiness along the way.

Animal Activist... Check!

2010-10-25T09:07:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I saved a red-tailed hawk... No big...

So here's the story. I was at work just finishing up running breakfast when one of the guests pointed out a beautiful hawk that was hanging out on a rock close to the kitchen. Ed and I watched it for a bit while trying to take some pictures. Ed got pretty close and spooked it to where it hopped down the hill a little bit. I thought it was pretty weird how it let us get so close but then when I saw it hop away instead of fly away, I knew something was up. I sat and observed the bird for a good twenty minutes and noticed another smaller hawk (which I later found out was a red shouldered hawk) was attacking the larger hawk (the one that was acting strange... which I later found out was a red-tail... I usually can spot them but this one was on the ground and I didn't get a good look at his tail). The larger hawk wasn't flying away (or flying at all) and even used his talons and beak to climb up into a tree...

I decided it would be best to call the Ojai Raptor Center to have them come pick up the bird and see what was up with it. After a runaround of call this number, and try this number, and "I'm out of the office, call this person...", I was able to get a hold of Bob who happens to be the snake guy who comes to do snake programs at Outdoor Ed and works for the Raptor Center. He came out and tried to catch the bird with a fishing net, but it climbed higher into the tree and we eventually lost track of him. Bob left and told me to call him again if the bird showed up again. Sure enough, later that afternoon, the hawk showed up again in the same area so I called Bob. He came out again and was able to catch the bird. From his initial assessment, he could tell that the hawk was extremely underweight and his flight muscles were extremely underdeveloped (which explains why he wasn't flying). I love the Raptor Center because they are so concerned about the animals but they also love educating people on the animals. Bob told me what they were going to check for with the bird and what could be wrong and how they might need to feed it. He even let me feel the chest of the Hawk to see how underdeveloped it's flight muscles were (that's right, I touched a red-tailed hawk... have you?). Bob called me later that evening and said that the Hawk was 22% underweight which is a lot for a bird. He said when they get to be 30% underweight, they just fall over dead. He also said in another day or two this guy would probably be dead. He told me that he had to insert a feeding tube to start bulking this guy up, but he was super happy that we got him when we did.

It sounds silly, I know. I really didn't do anything but call the Raptor Center. But if it weren't for Outdoor Ed and the few times I sat through the Raptor Center class, I wouldn't have known who to call or really took the time to watch the bird. I am so thankful for the Raptor Center and the work they do. If you ever have a chance to sit in one of their classes (the Raptor one with Kim or Bob's snake class), I would highly recommend it!

Ode to the Yellow Bug

2010-10-20T19:10:00.000-07:00

I don't know what you listen to when you are in your car, but I personally enjoy listening to my ipod. Unfortunately I do not have a tape player in my car, so I am stuck using an FM transmitter to play my ipod through my stereo. It's a pretty cheap one, I will admit, but it does a great job on this one station... But there's this yellow bug that goes to my school; let's call him NIKZBUG (that's his license plate)...

Well, NIKZBUG likes to use the same radio station that I use... And his FM transmitter is way better then mine... So whenever he comes within 5 car lengths (that's not an exaggeration either...) of me, I pick up his radio station (which I am guessing is maybe an XM thing, but I'm really not sure)... This would be fine if his radio station was good, but his station just talks about sex... I don't want to hear that crap... So whenever my station starts to get a little fuzzy, I frantically look for that stupid yellow bug... I've become so paranoid that when I see other yellow bugs, I start to panic a little and drive faster or slower to avoid it (even if it's not him...)... Ridiculous I know... But I can't stand that stupid yellow bug...

Bon Voyage

2010-10-14T17:52:00.000-07:00

My friend Cory moved today. I am very excited for where God is taking her. I admire her for her patience and faith in the Lord these last few years of her life which has led her to this point. I know God has great plans for her and I am excited to see how He is going to use her in Detroit...

But I'm sad. I miss my friend. I am sad that tomorrow morning when I get up and get ready to go get coffee, I won't have a friend to sit and share a cup of coffee with... I'm sad. But happy for her.

Hunter Imagery

2010-10-14T12:18:00.000-07:00

Ryan asked me today about my cousin's photography which spurred me on to look at his stuff a little more... Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present to you my favorite photo...

For more great images, visit his website http://hunterimagery.com/ and/or like him on Facebook.

Work

2010-10-07T12:29:00.000-07:00

I'm almost two and a half months into my "new job" (I put it in quotes because it's not really "new" but it's more full time/consistent then in the past) and I have to say I am really enjoying it. Yes, some weekends (most actually) are exhausting; Running around all day cleaning/stocking bathrooms, vacuuming, running meals, interacting with guests, lifeguarding (not anymore cause the pool is closed...), working rec (not as much now since the pool is closed and we have enough staff...)... By Sunday, I am usually pretty wiped out. But despite how much work it actually is, I really enjoy seeing and serving the different members of the body of Christ that come to our camp. It is such a joy to see how they run things and what they believe and how they interact with others. True, some are rude and pushy. Some are disrespectful and downright messy. But to serve them and love them really has been a joy and a blessing that I have really enjoyed.

This Is Me

2010-09-22T12:38:00.000-07:00

Today's my birthday, and I have been thinking long and hard on what an ideal birthday would look like for me. I don't like birthdays (well, my birthday... I like other people's birthdays just fine). I don't like the attention that I receive the one day out of the year. Not that I would like it everyday of the year, but it's just a little bizarre to me...

Anyway, what would my ideal birthday look like? I think just a mellow day of hanging out with friends and family would be ideal for me. Not having any pressure to hang out with certain people or to really do anything. Not having to make any decisions about where to go or what to do because the people around me would just know me well enough to make those decisions for me. Just having the people that I love and care about the most around me showering me with their love would be enough for me.

Lunch Time

2010-09-16T12:07:00.000-07:00

Remember that ToDo list I posted a couple weeks ago? Well yesterday I finally got to check off the last thing on that list; getting my car washed. I went to Costco's new $8 car wash and I have to say, I didn't enjoy it. When I went there I was thinking it was going to be super fun, like in Corrina, Corrina when Molly was able to pick anywhere in the world to go for her birthday and she chooses the carwash. It was a magical, happy place for her. Not so much for me. I felt claustrophobic and trapped knowing that I couldn't open my windows without getting sprayed by water, soap, and other crazy chemicals. I couldn't see out any of the windows and, despite knowing I was on a track, was afraid I was going to run into someone or something. My car is clean so that's a good thing, but I don't think I will be doing that again... I think I would prefer to pay $12 for the Ojai Car Wash where I don't have to sit in my car.

On another note, I think I am addicted to FroYo... I have gone twice this week in Ventura (Holly was housesitting and so I hung out with her a couple of nights) and I wanted to go again last night. It's just so darn tasty. I went to Wild Cherry for the first time and I was quite impressed! Not only are they cleaner then Tutti Fruiti, but they have more flavors and they are cheaper! If you are ever in the Ventura College area, you should stop by.

My last topic for today is food (probably because I haven't eaten all day and it's 12:30pm and I have another half an hour here in the tutoring center). Holly asked me the other day what my favorite restaurant is and I honestly couldn't give her an answer. I am not sure what my favorite restaurant is and to be totally honest, I am not sure I know what my favorite food is. I like sushi alot. I also like thai food. I like sandwiches. I really like really good turkey burgers (or a really good garden burger or even a chicken burger). I'm not a big pizza and pasta at restaurants fan. I don't like eating mexican food out cause I can make it at home. Maybe that's it. Maybe I just like stuff that I can't make at home very well. I mean, I do make a really good turkey burger (and blackbean and chicken burger). Needless to say, I don't know what my favorite food/restaurant is. All I know is I need to get some food in my body right now...

Pray for Daisy

2010-09-07T12:38:00.000-07:00

God is so good! Daisy Love's tumor has shrunk by over 75%. It has gone from the size of a large grapefruit to the size of a slice of a small tangerine! The surgeon says that the tumor is barely there and there are no problems with it being around any major blood supplies. Her surgery is scheduled for Monday! Praise God! Please pray for a quick and easy surgery. Pray that Daisy will continue to be healed by the Holy Spirit. For continual updates on Daisy Love and the amazing things God is doing through the life of this little girl, check out prayfordaisy.com. God is so good!

A Bushel and a Peck

2010-09-06T10:08:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder why I like singing. And then I hear my grandma sing on the phone to my cousins and I remember. One of my few memories from when I was younger was my dad and my grandma singing songs to me. I mainly remember the three bears song. But today I heard my grandma sing the Bushel and a Peck song, and I about lost it. I love my grandma and I love hearing her sing.

"I love you, a bushel and a peck!

A bushel and a peck, and a hug around the neck!

A hug around the neck, and a barrel and a heap!

A barrel and a heap, and I'm talkin' in my sleep."

Manure... I Hate Manure!

2010-09-02T07:42:00.000-07:00

Sometimes my school smells. Not like a nice smell either... My school has two smells. The first, most common smell I would say is green onions. Now, I like green onions. I use them all the time! But this green onion smell is so strong it literally makes me sick... The second smell is manure. Now, the intensity of this smell can range anywhere from minor to me literally thinking that there is crap on my shoe... It smelled like that yesterday... Gross! People say I'll get used to it... I don't think I will.

Familiarity

2010-09-01T15:43:00.000-07:00

Familiarity is a good thing! It makes me feel comfortable and at ease. It makes me happy.

My classes again are in the same buildings they have always been in (with the exception of one class). I have two professors that I have had previous classes with. One of my classes is in the same classroom I have had all three semesters. I see familiar faces in all of my classes. I see familiar faces as I walk to my classes. It's great!

Today one of my classes got out early so Emy (who is in one of my classes) and I went and got coffee until we had to go to our next classes. Today was a good day.

To Do

2010-08-31T11:44:00.000-07:00

I have always been a fan of To Do Lists. But these last few months in particular, I have been a HUGE fan of To Do Lists. Here is my To Do list for this week:

Clean/Organize my room: I started this one but there is still a lot to do. It's amazing how unorganized a room can get when you don't live in it for several months...
Sew a lunch Bag: This one is for my grandma. She started going to Little House, an adult day care center here in Ojai, four days a week and we pack her a lunch everyday. So we (my mom) thought it might be nice for her to have her own, homemade lunch bag. Which is great because I am always looking for new sewing projects.
Get a Quote on my Car/Get Car Fixed/Get Car Smogged/Pay Car Registration: This is a big one... Several months ago, I got my car checked out because the check engine light was on. Turns out my car has low compression in one of the cylinders and potentially needs a new head (whatever that means...). I didn't take care of it at the time because I didn't have the money and still haven't taken care of it because I still don't have the money. Unfortunately my car registration is due on Sept 9th and I have to get my car smogged which means the check engine light can't be on which means, I have to get my car fixed. I could use some major prayer on this one because, like I said, I don't have the money for this and don't know how this all is going to work. But I know that God is Big and He will provide a way. If you know anyone who knows Dodge Neons and could do some work on it for me, let me know...
Wash my Car: on top of my car not running well, I have majorly dropped the ball on keeping my car clean. I blame camp mostly. It's just so dusty. What's the point you know?
Transfer Info from Old Computer to New: Our home desktop was on it's way out very quickly so my parents got a new computer. But all of our old stuff, including files and itunes are all on the old computer. So I have to transfer all of that old info onto my external hard-drive onto the new computer.

That's all I can think of right now. Let's be honest, the car thing is what's weighing on me right now. Please pray.

The End/The Beginning

2010-08-30T19:22:00.000-07:00

Camp is over.

It's been over for several weeks now but I have been hosting full time and I am just getting around to sitting at a computer long enough to type up my thoughts. Camp was amazing and I can't even begin to list all of the amazing things God showed me and taught me this summer. I am sad that camp is done and my friends are gone, but I am excited to hear about what God has in store for them this year. I am also excited to still be a part of Forest Home with hosting on the weekends. This last weekend we had Camp Reach for the Stars which is a camp put on by the American Cancer Society for families affected by pediatric cancer. It was such an amazing thing to be a part of and it really made me thankful for my family and friends around me.

School started today. My schedule isn't totally crazy yet which is nice. Tutoring and my two Math labs don't start until next week so I only had two classes today with a very long break in between. I ended up having lunch at Panera (so glad we have one in Camarillo now!) and then taking care of my parking permit stuff. Tomorrow I have one class from 4:30-5:45. Wednesday I have 3 classes in the span of 9-5:45 so if anyone is in the Camarillo area between 1:15 and 4, let me know and then we could maybe hang out. Thursday is like Tuesday so I am hoping to get a ton of stuff done at my house that will allow me to dive into my more crazy schedule next week (which includes tutoring which will have me at school Mon-Wed 9-5:45 and Thur from 11-5:45).

I was starting to get a little freaked out last week about the craziness of my life and my schedule. Thursday I had the day off of work and Friday morning I had a meeting in the Learning Resource Center (where I tutor at school). The meeting was pretty boring and ran late and I still had to talk to the Financial Aid office before getting to work by 1:30. I hurried out of the library (the LRC is in the library) and came across a group of elderly people huddled around an elderly man on the ground. Despite just being in a huge hurry, I knew I had to stop and make sure everything was ok. I stopped and said, "Hi, my name is Michaela, I am First Aid trained. Can I help you with anything?" The group immediately said yes and I just started an initial assessment of the man on the ground. His name was Gordan and he is 91 years old. He tripped on the curb and twisted his ankle. He had some minor bleeding on his hand but as far as I could tell had no other serious injuries. Someone had already called the police who were on their way. I wanted to get someone to get a first aid kit from the library but didn't want to leave Gordan, and no one else really wanted to leave either. The police officer was there pretty quickly and took over the situation and called for paramedics. The whole thing maybe took 5 minutes of my time, but it was a nice reminder to stop and slow down and not miss what God has in store for me this semester. I am excited for my classes and I am excited to see my school friends. It was nice to see familiar faces in my Linear Algebra class. And it's always nice to see friends when you are walking around campus. As crazy as my schedule seems, I feel peace about it. I know I'm not alone at school and that's a nice feeling to have.

Bounce

2010-08-30T19:20:00.001-07:00

Have you ever seen someone with an actual bounce in their step? I was walking behind this girl at school today who literally had a bounce in her step. Everything she stepped over was a little hop... Very interesting. Random, I know. But I haven't really seen someone with an actual bounce in their step. It caught my attention today.

My God Made That

2010-07-16T17:44:00.000-07:00

Junior High camp has come to a close and I am amazed at the things God has been doing in the lives of these students, counselors, staff, and me. One staff guy has this one saying that always makes me stop and think. He looks at the stars and says, in all seriousness, "My God made that!" He looks at the mountains and says, "My God made that!" He watches the sunset at the beach and says, "My God made that!" It sounds so simple and it's something I have always known and loved, but to hear it out loud gives new meaning to it. If becomes real and true and it really gives me joy!

This last week, the pastor of Reality Carpenteria was speaking at Reality San Fransisco when he got the call that his daughter Daisy Love was sick. If you remember any of my previous posts, Daisy Love had a Wilm's tumor the size of a Nerf football about last September and was declared free of cancer (remission) as of April of this year. She has been in remission for a few months but this last week, the doctor's found a new, inoperable tumor the size of a grapefruit. She had a biopsy this week where they were able to remove about a 1/3 of the tumor and are now looking for a Wilm's tumor specialist.

I know that my God, who made the mountains, the stars, and the beach sunsets is bigger then Daisy's tumor. I know that He can remove that tumor and heal her little body. I also know that God has a bigger plan then we could ever imagine or begin to understand. Please keep Dasiy Love and the Merrick family in your prayers. God has been using this young girl and this family in amazing ways and I know He is not done yet. Pray for healing and peace and for God's glory to be seen through the life of this brave little girl!

Here's a link to get updates on Daisy Love and the Merrick family!

The Backyard Project

2010-07-09T22:32:00.000-07:00

We are two weeks into program and I have to say, I am really excited about the staff team that we have this year. The first week of program went so well that it didn't even seem like it was our first week. So many wonderful things happened that I can't even begin to describe. God moved in some great ways in campers, counselors, and staff members lives. I can say, however, that I am very excited about these next three weeks of program.

This last week was unique in the fact that we didn't have anyone in camp. So we started out the week with an extended 4th of July weekend. I got to share my town and all of its craziness with some of my staff family which is one of my favorite things to do. After a weekend full of parade, BBQs, hangouts, Beach houses, and Fireworks we got to start what Holly called the Backyard Project. All of the staff got the opportunity to serve the community in a few different ways. One group helped out at the Ojai Baptist church VBS while the two other groups alternated between service projects at the beach and the Oak View Boys and Girls club, and Operation Embrace. I was in charge of the Operation Embrace group so I got to hang out there all week.

If you aren't familiar with Operation Embrace, you should be. Operation Embrace is an outreach program started by a very small church in Ventura called Harbor Community Church. This church started out with only about 20 members and felt led to start a Homeless outreach program. So they listened to that call and started Operation Embrace. 5 days a week, their doors are opened for homeless throughout Ventura and Oxnard to come and eat, shower, do laundry, use computers to look for jobs, get clothes, meet with counselors, get legal help, and so much more. They serve two meals, breakfast at 8 and lunch at 12. I can't even begin to describe the amazing things God is doing at this church but maybe their description will make things more clear:

Everyday members of The Harbor family go out to the parks and river bottom and "reach the people no body wants inside the walls of a church" . We go to embrace them, befriend them and share the good news and teachings of Jesus Christ. Our goal is to go where they are, and love them and hang out with them where ever they call home and bring church to them. Once trust is developed and they feel there is hope to change their situation, we bring them to the church for help through our MCM Ministry Case Management services. At The Harbor we provide case management services designed to collaborate with the many surrounding city agencies and local city social services operations that can provide services for those addicted through substance abuse, or homeless pregnant woman in need of housing and medical care, etc. plus for those that want to further their education we help them with schooling and Job search services available right at the church. Most importantly we begin a one on one mentoring and discipleship program for each one that chooses to have some one come along side them and teach them more about Jesus and our Christian faith. Our goal is to help every one that comes to our church family for help and help them find value and love and walk along side them with hope and solutions to their addictions and homeless living situations.

It was such a blessing to see a church that actually gets it. To see a church who understands what it means to live a life like Jesus lived. A church that cares for "the least of these." I'm not trying to bash anyone's church. I am sure there are several churches that get it and are living out God's Word in great ways. Even my church I feel doesn't always get it but I see them working towards it everyday and I love that. But to spend a week at this church and watch people interacting with one another and just loving each other, no questions asked was honestly one of the best weeks of my life. This church also started something called the Kingdom Center which is a transitional living center that provides food, clothing, shelter, and over all care for the homeless, poor, widows and orphans in Jesus Name. Their goal is for many churches to come together to provide transitional living situations for those Jesus told us to care for. I pray that I can continue to be a part of this ministry and I hope and pray that others will join with the Harbor to further God's Kingdom.

There were many moments throughout the week that I will remember, but I might have to share them in another blog since this one is quickly turning into a novel. Thank you God for an amazing week of serving You and the community! Thank you that I got to be a part of a community of believers who love You and love others. Thank you that I got to experience a church that gets it so that I can share it with others! Amen!

Answers

2010-07-09T22:16:00.000-07:00

Are you ever dying to find out answers to things? And then you find the answer and you are disappointed or even saddened by it? Or maybe you already knew the answer, but you were hoping it wasn't true? Then you find out the truth and it all starts to sink in?

Last week we got the word from my grandma's new doctor that she does in fact have Alzheimer's. Now what? We knew she probably had it, but sometimes it's just really hard to hear it and to have it actually be final. She is doing ok. She's on new Alzheimer's meds and is finally on some anti-depressants which seems to be helping with her overall attitude towards things. Please continue to pray for my family this summer as I am not around to help out as much as I used to. Pray for my grandma and pray that these meds can help slow the process down as much as possible.

This Ain't No Masquerade!

2010-06-26T18:14:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow starts our first week of program camp at Forest Home Ojai Valley and I couldn't be more excited! The last two weeks have been filled with meetings and training and planning and programing and getting to know the staff... It's been exhausting but so much fun and I can't wait to put everything that we have been putting so much time and effort on into practice. The staff this summer is great (not that they haven't been great in the past... every year is different) and I can't wait to see them all in action! The churches we have coming up this week are some of our favs (they are all our favs but these are just some of them)! Pray for a great smooth first week of camp not only for us as a staff but for the students, leaders, and youth pastors who will be joining us this week. Pray for our speaker Josh Pease and our worship leader Mat Weddle. And pray for our staff to not get in the way of what God has planned for these campers, leaders, and us this week and this summer.

Moving Day

2010-06-01T15:20:00.000-07:00

Moving Day has come and gone and I am now officially moved into FHOV. I'm living it up in Leo Carrillo A for the next two weeks before the rest of the staff move in on June 11th. It's been nice having some quiet time (even though I have been working a lot this last week) but I am very excited to meet my new roommates, Jesi and Lianna. I have actually met Jesi before but I am still very excited for her to move in!

DREAMS

2010-05-30T23:27:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had your dreams crushed by someone? Have you ever felt like everything you ever hoped for had just been crushed? Have you ever seen the look on someone's face when their dreams have just been crushed? Have you ever been the one to crush someone else's dreams? It turns out that I have now joined the later of those two groups. This last weekend we had a social at work and the kids put on a variety show which was terrible. The whole thing was super unorganized and there was zero supervision other then me and I was getting pretty pissed off. Now there are different levels of Michaela being pissed off... There's upset, annoyed, pissed, ticked off, and Panic Attack... Friday I was bordering the last one. We have had trouble with socials at work because they want to let the kids run them but the music is always terrible and no one dances which is frustrating so it was really no surprise that non of the kids were dancing at this one. What was surprising was watching every single kid walk outside during the dance because they didn't like the music being played. When the DJ (who was a student) came outside to ask everyone why they weren't dancing, I simply responded, "It's because everyone hates your music..." As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I wanted to vomit. How on earth could something so cruel and hurtful come out of me and be directed at a student? The look on her face seriously made me want to die. I apologized several times later that night but that is definitely one moment I would like to take back if I could...

Anticipation

2010-05-18T08:29:00.000-07:00

Anticipation is a funny thing. It can make you a little crazy about things sometimes if you let it get out of hand. My uncle and his wife are having a baby today (or they already had it... we haven't heard yet) and grandma is very anxious about that happening. I don't think that I am really anxious about anything right now, but there are a few things that I am very excited about:

School's out for the summer! I finished my first year at CSUCI and I have to say I feel really good about it. I actually made friends and got involved this year which is kinda a big deal for a hermit like me.
Grades: I am not sure on some of my grades, though I can guess what I got. I am however very excited that I got a B in Logic and Mathematical Reasoning. Seriously one of the more difficult classes I have taken. Not necessarily because of the content but more the professor. What a jerk!
Two more weekends at OVS. This weekend we are going to a Dodger's game and next weekend we are going on an Asia town trip in LA. These could potentially be my last two weekends at OVS for a very long time seeing that I don't have a contract for next year. But I am surprisingly ok with that. I know that God has a plan for it all and if OVS is no longer a part of that plan, I trust that He will provide.
Moving Day! A week from today I will be moving into FHOV. I'll be living in the good old Leo Carrillo for a few weeks alone before the rest of the staff move in. We have two weeks of ExPed and then a week of a guest group and then staff training begins.
Glee! I know. It's silly. But I really like this show. Mainly I like the music but the show is super funny! And these last 4 episodes will feature Idina Menzel (one of my favorite actors of all time!)! Even better, she will be singing in these episodes ("I Dreamed a Dream", some Barbara Streisand song that they won't release yet, and an Acoustic version of "Poker Face" with Lea Michele (another one of my favs!)!)!

Lots to look forward to and much to be thankful for! Tomorrow we go down to UCLA to find out the results from the NueroPsychological exam.

Daisy Love

2010-05-12T07:28:00.000-07:00

God is so good and so faithful! For those of you who don't know, my parents attend a church called Reality in Ventura which is a branch off of Reality Carpenteria. Their teaching pastor's daughter, Daisy was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer about 7 months ago and only by the grace of God, she is now in remission. Check out this video for the full story.

Daisy from Reality on Vimeo.

Happy Mother's Day

2010-05-10T18:18:00.000-07:00

I wasn't going to do a Mother's Day post but after today, I feel like I need to. First of all, I love my mother with all of my heart and I am so thankful to her for everything that she has done and continues to do for me. She is my rock and someone I look up to a lot.

But this post isn't really about her (sorry Mom... I love you!). This post is really dedicated to my grandma Linda. She's been having a rough time (especially this last month), as you probably have read in some of my previous posts. Today I came home from tutoring to find my mom and dad talking to my grandma who had apparently gotten upset about something that was said to her. I went out to my room to change and give them some time to figure things out and came in to find my parents praying over my grandma. My dad prayed for peace and understanding for my grandma. He prayed for patience and clarity of her mind to understand what's going on around her. My mom prayed for forgiveness for us as a family for not always being the most patient with her. She prayed that we also can understand how to help her with what she needs the most. Now, I don't know if you know this about me but I'm kinda an emotional person who is brought to tears fairly easily. So by this time I was already welling up a little, but then my grandma started chatting with God and I kinda lost it. She prayed while sobbing, "God, please help me. I don't know what to do. I don't know what's going on. I used to have a house and I used to do things, and now I can't remember. I don't know what's going on. God I know that you are in control and you have a reason for everything. But God, I've been asking for you to help me and you haven't. But God I know you don't always give us what we want when we want it. God please help me. I don't know what to do."

I pray that one day, when I am old and losing my mind to a disease, I can still have the faith that my grandma showed me tonight through her prayer and her continual faith.

Tessellated Cuboctahedron

2010-05-08T14:47:00.000-07:00

Last week was my last week of formal instruction for this semester. Now all that stands between me and summer vacation are two finals, a paper on a Mathematician (that I still have to pick... any suggestions?), and a Tessellated Cuboctahedron... The picture above is what I am going for with that one... I'll try and take more pictures when I get it built.

Bring On 17 Units

2010-04-27T19:38:00.000-07:00

I registered for next semester's classes yesterday and it looks like I will have another semester of 17 units. I had a second option of 19 units but I decided to stick with this one. So here it is. My Fall 2010 schedule of classes.

Mondays
12:00 - 1:15 Linear Algebra
1:30 - 2:45 Linear Algebra Math Lab
4:30 - 5:45 Biostatistics

Tuesdays
1:30 - 2:45 Biostatistics Math Lab
4:30 - 5:45 Modern Math Tools for Elementary Teachers I

Wednesdays
9:00 - 11:50 American Liturature
12:00 - 1:15 Linear Algebra
1:30 - 2:45 Linear Algebra Math Lab
4:30 - 5:45 Biostatistics

Thursdays
1:30 - 2:45 Biostatistics Math Lab
4:30 - 5:45 Modern Math Tools for Elementary Teachers I

Not my ideal schedule but it'll have to do. As I'm getting down to the wire, the classes I need are being offered less and less. Some of these classes are the only sections being offered this semester so I had to work around those...

Oh The Tables...

2010-04-23T12:21:00.000-07:00

Indeed the tables have turned... The last few weeks I've been watching my grandma attempt to put together some puzzles. Nothing too difficult. All under 50 pieces. But it's so sad to see how much she struggles with them. What makes it worse is she is the one who taught me how to do puzzles. I remember coming over to her house (which is the house we are in now) when I was younger and she was always working on a puzzle. Her coffee tables in her dark, smokey living room were always covered with half worked puzzles. I remember her showing me that the best way to start a new puzzle is to find all of the flat, side pieces and put the outside together and then work your way in. Since then, that's how I have put puzzles together because that's what she taught me. I remember she finished puzzle after puzzle (all of them in the 500 -1000 piece range), paste them together and frame them (which is funny because really, who wants to keep a puzzle...). Now I watch her do a puzzle and she has no idea where to begin. Today she said she was a little stuck and couldn't remember what my dad told her to do with the puzzles. So I showed her how to find all of the flat, edge pieces to put together the outside and then work inward.

Well, today I go back to work at OVS for the home stretch of the school year (only 5 or 6 weekends I think...). I can't believe that in the last 7 days I will have worked at three different jobs. This weekend, I will be going back and forth a little from OVS and FH because some of this year's summer staffers will be here for the video shoot. So hopefully tonight I will get to hang with them for a bit. For now, I'm just getting ready for work... Semi-formal social tonight... Good thing Elementary can't go... That means I get to watch them instead of the social!

Involved

2010-04-20T16:22:00.000-07:00

No... Not romantically... I mean in school. For the first time in my college career, I am now involved in my school. I started tutoring at the Learning Resource Center at school and now I have friends. Not really friends but I know people now. I see them walking around campus and they say hi (some of them) and it feel nice. It's nice to not be alone. Tutoring is going really well. It's been slow in the LRC the last couple of days which has been nice since I just started tutoring solo this week. We only have three (really 2 and a half) weeks of school left before finals so I imagine things will be getting busier but for now I am enjoying myself.

Yes, that's right. Only 2 and a half weeks of school left. For me it's more like 5 more class days before finals and summer! I am so excited but I have a feeling these last few weeks are going to be pretty busy.

LRC

2010-04-07T07:47:00.000-07:00

I just got a new job at the Learning Resource Center at Cal State Channel Islands! The LRC used to be called the Math Tutoring Center but due to changes in the CSU system, we are supposed to be able to tutor multiple subjects. But anyway, in order to get a job there you have to be a student in good standing, have completed Calc II, and have a recommendation from a Math Dept faculty member. The LRC is short staffed right now so they were accepting applicants that are currently taking Calc II and were recommended by their professor. My professor recommended me and here I am. I have a meeting today for a crash course training session and I do my shadow tutoring next week. Then I start tutoring three afternoons a week for a total of 8 hours a week for the last three weeks of school (plus however many hours I want during finals week).

So now I am juggling 3 jobs, 17 units, the gym (oh yeah. I joined a gym and have been working out regularly for the first time in years), grandma, and maybe a life... It's only for a few weeks and then summer starts so I'm not too worried. I get a week off in between the two and then Outdoor Ed. and summer craziness begins. I can't wait!

What's an Offering?

2010-04-05T10:32:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter everyone. Hope you all had a great day doing whatever it is you do on Easter Sunday. Me, I work. I was really praying for a good attitude about working on Easter and it was sort of a challenge. El offered to take some of the kids to Sunrise Service and two of my kids said yes. They came and sat next to me the whole time which I wasn't super excited about at first but as the morning went on, it turned out to be really neat. One of my kids had absolutely no idea what she was getting herself into when she came and ended up asking a ton of questions. Questions like, "Why are they singing about Christmas?", "Why do they say 'Nothing But the Blood of Jesus'?", "What's an offering?"... My first reaction was "shut up!" (No I didn't tell her to shut up... calm down), but then I took a step back and realized that I get to share about Jesus to this kid who has no idea what's going on. When else would I get an opportunity like this? So we just chatted most of the time. She was bored out of her mind and played her Nintendo DS most of the time, but I was glad she came. I was glad they both came.

Happy Easter Everyone!

Forevermore

2010-04-02T13:38:00.000-07:00

This Katie Herzig song has been stuck in my head the last two days. But it's fun and reminds me of when I was young and things were simple.

You could be my white night
And I could be your fairy tale
And you could come and save me
But that is not the end

I will wear will wear a white dress
You will paint a sunset
Life will be a love fest
That’s how it all begins

Say say, oh playmate
Come out and play with me
And bring your dollies three
Climb up my apple tree
Slide down my rainbow
Into my cellar door
And we’ll be jolly friends
Forever more

But the world can spin so madly
And love can hurt so badly
And stories end so sadly
But this is not the end

You still have my heartache
I still have your sweater
Things they will get better
Oh, but not today

Say say oh playmate
I cannot play with you
My dolly’s got the flue
Boo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo
Aint got no rainbow
Aint got no cellar door
But we’ll be jolly friends
Forever more

Say say, oh playmate
Come out and play with me
And bring your dollies three
Climb up my apple tree
Slide down my rainbow
Into my cellar door
And we’ll be jolly friends
Forever more

Really?

2010-04-02T13:31:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was driving home from school and saw a poster advertising a church's Easter Service. It had a picture of a cross and a Picture of an Easter egg... Really? Can a church promote Easter eggs? I dunno. It's probably not a big deal. I just thought it was strange.

Unfortunately I am working this weekend. But I have really been praying about this weekend that I can just love these kids no matter how bratty they are. I have been really struggling these last few weekends to just love my kids and have patience with them. Maybe I'm using up all the patience I have during the week and I'm just running on empty. But this weekend I really just want to have compassion for these kids who are stuck at school on Easter weekend.

Hello! My name is Michelle..

2010-03-15T12:44:00.001-07:00

This last weekend was pretty rough. Friday was a hard day with grandma. Her mental status is declining at a rate faster then what we originally thought which is hard to keep up with not only physically, but also mentally and emotionally. We can't tell her about anything ahead of time anymore (like people coming to visit or appointments) because she obsesses over them and asks a million questions (usually they are ones that she already asked and forgot that she asked and what the answer was). The hardest part of the day is probably the mornings although meal times are quickly catching up. Getting dressed is her biggest challenge mentally while her biggest challenge physically is probably eating. It's so hard to stand by and try and help when there's not a whole lot you can do. Some days (like Friday and, from what I hear, Saturday) she gets very angry and defiant. It's days like that when I can't help but feel annoyed which is usually quickly followed with extreme guilt. Friday I was impatient and it showed. Grandma even asked my if I was angry with her. I wanted to cry for making her feel that way and for not having enough patience. My name is now Michelle (according to grandma) because she can't remember Michaela. I've heard of other people's grandparents forgetting names and stuff but it's pretty heartbreaking when it happens to you.

I am really struggling with this but I know I'm not alone. We are having someone come in three days a week to help alleviate some of the added stress. And I am happy to see my family getting closer because of this. Please continue to pray for answers and wisdom from the doctors. And please pray for added patience for others both in my own life and in my family's lives.

And So It Begins

2010-03-06T07:14:00.000-08:00

So it's been about a month since my grandma moved in and we are still trying to adjust our lives to her needs which has become increasingly difficult these last couple of weeks. We have definitely seen a decline in her memory and just overall well being since she moved in. But we were able to get her into UCLA for some tests. I won't go into the details of the actual tests but the tentative diagnosis is Alzheimer's. This diagnosis will be pending until some more tests can be run including a 4 hour neuro-psychiatric exam. Grandma is in a bit of denial about the diagnosis and really doesn't want to talk about it ever. It's definitely a hard diagnosis to hear for us so I can't really imagine how she is feeling about it. She also went to the optometrist yesterday and he took a scan of her field of vision which has significantly changed in the last few months since the last scan. She now has to retrain her eyes to use a minimal portion of her eye to see. Please be in prayer for my grandma. It's hard to continue to hear all of this bad news and she is already pretty depressed as it is. Pray that we can get in and get the necessary tests done as soon as possible (right now the 4 hour test is scheduled for June but my aunt is calling UCLA everyday checking for cancellations so we can get her in sooner). We are really hoping that it's not Alzheimer's but from what we have been seeing, it's not likely. But God is in control and His plan is better then mine so I trust that He will give us the strength to do this.

Sewing Snob

2010-02-26T09:17:00.000-08:00

This week, I decided to get started on my T-Shirt quilt that I have been wanting to make for awhile now. I started it Monday and due to my ever growing OCD, I finished it last night. I am super happy with it but my body hates me for spending the majority of the week sewing...

My favorite pieces...

My new machine that was given to me... I love it!

The early stages of the project...

Oo Oo, The Sweatest Thing

2010-02-26T09:03:00.000-08:00

One thing I have to say about my grandma living with us is how much family history I have been learning. My grandma is/was kind of a hoarder but in a good way. She kept a ton of stuff, including letters that my grandpa sent her when her was in the Marines. She also kept all of the letter she sent to him. Reading these has really been great and I hope you can enjoy them. You can see where I get my great spelling from...

Climbing Uphill

2010-02-26T08:24:00.000-08:00

This last week I have felt like I have been climbing an uphill battle. My mom has been in Mexico with some OVS students so I've been trying to step up and help out more with the house and grandma. Friday Night I was on LAX sleepovers (some of the kids fly home alone when they go on break and someone has to stay with them). The couple kids I had were fun and it was a pretty easy night. Got the kids up early Saturday morning and sent them off with the bus driver to LAX by 6:30am. I made it home before anyone else was up. When Grandma got up she was super confused and the she progressively got more and more confused as the morning went on. Since the Dr diagnosed her with having a series of mini-strokes and because she was so confused, we thought she might be having a stroke so we took her to the hospital. We spent most of Saturday morning in the ER but by the afternoon, she was more alert and apologetic for "being so difficult" as she said. Sunday morning she woke up a little confused again and was worried that she might be having another bad morning so she went back to bed. My dad and sister went to church and I stayed behind to make sure she got up ok. She didn't end up waking up until close to 11 which meant I missed church on my only weekend off in February.

Monday was a fun day. Amber and Ryan had jury duty so I got to watch the girls for a bit in the morning before taking Sage to school. Aspen and I hung out for a few more hours before I dropped her off at Gina's. Grandma really liked seeing the kids in the house. She actually ended up having a really good day as a result. She ended up having an appointment with Dr Amordiguy who said that she needs to get more sleep and that her episode on Saturday was probably a result of not enough sleep. Tuesday she ended up sleeping in until about 9:30 which made me miss my first full day of school this semester. When she finally got up, we had to rush a little to get her ready to go to the Dentist. She's been getting sores in her mouth because her dentures don't fit so they put in a soft pallet to make them more comfortable. Unfortunately that meant that she was without her dentures for almost three whole days. It was really hard to see her without her dentures. She just looked and seemed so sad and depressed that it just ate away at me. I ended up studying in my room for the majority of the evening.

The rest of the week has just been emotionally an uphill battle, but I do have to say that I feel slightly stronger because of it. It's kinda like working out. You have to tear down the muscles in order to build them back up stronger. But have you ever pushed it too hard and you just feel wrecked for days after? That's how I feel about this week. My emotions have been pushed to their very limit and it is taking me a little while to get back on my feet. But I am getting there.

Please continue to pray that we can find some answers to my grandma's confusion. My mom wants to hire someone to come in a couple days a week to hang out/make lunches for my grandma so please pray that we can find someone reliable that my grandma can feel comfortable with (if you know of anyone who needs a job, let me know). I'm hosting at camp this weekend so I am hoping that I can recover from my week long uphill battle and come back refreshed and ready for another week.

My Papa!

2010-02-09T20:03:00.000-08:00

My Papa is still the strongest man I know! To celebrate turning 50, last Saturday he set another California State record for bench press by lifting 407.5 lbs. The American record is 418 lbs and he assures me that he will be breaking that soon! Love you Papa!

What's New?

2010-02-04T20:03:00.000-08:00

What do people ask you when you see them? Hi! How are you? What's New? What kind of question is that? And how are you supposed to answer it? I mean, sometimes (depending on who's asking you) you can actually fill people in on the daily changes in your life. But to be honest, it's so hard to fill someone in in the two minutes of shop talk that you usually get with them.

So What's New? Well, my grandma moved into our house yesterday. She has been having some trouble remembering things for the last couple months and has been having some health issues and she can't really live alone anymore. My mom went with her to the neurologist on Wednesday and got some semi-good news. Well, the scans showed that most of her medical issues and mental issues can be attributed to mini-strokes that have been occurring for some time now. While that might not sound like the best news ever, it's actually the first real concrete answer we have gotten about what's actually causing her problems. For now she is living with us and trying to gain some weight and sharpen her declining brain functions. Please be in prayer for her. Pray that her meds will work and reverse the memory loss. Also pray for her because she is slightly depressed from crazy family stuff.

On a more fun/happy note, I about died in my Math and Fine Arts class today. My professor (who happens to be the head of the Math dept.) came into class and started lecturing. It didn't take long for me to notice that the back of her skirt was tucked into her tights. Now it was a long skirt so it's not like her butt was hanging out for the whole class to see, but you could definitely see up to about her knees. I really wanted to tell her that her skirt was messed up but I didn't really know how. Normally I would whisper to someone to let them know without embarrassing them too much, but she literally lectured the whole time. So what did I do? Absolutely nothing. I know, I am a jerk and I am sure one day something like that will happen to me. I just hope someone is nicer then me (and the other 29 people in my class) and they'll let me know.

Back in the Habit

2010-01-27T07:51:00.000-08:00

Spring semester started last week and I can now say that I am quickly getting back in the habit of being super busy. How you might say? Well here's my current daily schedule as it stands:

Monday - Day of rest/Homework day. Babysit my neighbors kids in the afternoon. Homegroup in the pm
Tuesday - School from 8am - 1pm (at the earliest... it can be anytime really from 1 - 4). Tutoring from 6:30-7:30pm
Wednesday - Take my neighbors kids to school. Catchup day. Whatever I didn't finish over the weekend that may be due tomorrow. Housework. etc. Babysit my neighbors kids in the afternoon. Youth Group in the evening.
Thursday - Take my neighbors kids to school. My school from 8-4pm. Tutoring from 6:30-7:30pm.
Friday - Housework. Cleaning the house for the week to come. Getting ready for work. 2:30pm work.
Saturday - Work
Sunday - Work; 5:30pm get ready to do it all over again.

Despite already feeling the need to play catch up in every aspect of my life right now, school is going well. All of my classes (not the online ones) I share with this girl named Amanda who was in my Calc 1 class last semester. It's nice to go to class and know someone. It's also nice because I know I can't ditch that often because she may think I am a slacker. So far my classes are good. Calc 2 is hard but I think I am understanding the concepts and keeping up with the homework so far. Logic is dumb and the professor is an arrogant D-bag, but I am trying to have a good attitude about it. Math and Fine Arts is awesome! It's pretty much a class about geometric shapes that create art. It sort of feeds my OCD monster a little which is kinda fun! My online classes are good despite there being a lot of work that I am already a little behind in, but I plan on using today to catch up.

I've been fighting a cold these last two weeks which has taken a lot of energy out of me. But other then that, things are ok. We had a plumbing issue yesterday which was a pain in the butt. Lately it feels like the shit just keeps piling up on us (pun sort of intended but also very true), but God is still faithful and continues to provide our literal daily bread.

Report Card

2009-12-21T11:28:00.000-08:00


	Official Grades

Class	Description	Units	Grading	Grade	Grade Points
COMP 101	COMPUTER LITERACY	3.00	Letter Grade	A	12.000
ENGL 330	INTERDISCIPLINARY WRITING	3.00	Letter Grade	B+	9.900
MATH 150	CALCULUS I	4.00	Letter Grade	A+	16.000
PSY 345	IND WITH DISABILITIES	3.00	Letter Grade	A	12.000

99 Red Balloons...

2009-12-21T11:09:00.000-08:00

Maybe they weren't red and there were definitely way more then 99, but last week I filled the president of OVS's bathroom with a TON of balloons. Every year as a staff we play Secret Santa and this year I was lucky enough (haha... lucky...) to get the President. Luckily (for reals) my mom's friend Keri got his wife so we decided to mess with them a little and gave them both the same presents everyday, including filling their offices (or office's bathroom) with a bunch of balloons. It was super fun and I really enjoy our staff Christmas parties... It's nice to see everyone without the kids around.

72 Aqua Balloons...

Keri and I buried behind over 200 balloons... We loaded these bags into a school van and then drove them over to the school.

My best friend the Air Compressor... I couldn't have done this without you! I blew up the first 100 or so with the AComp. before getting some back up to help tie the balloons. We drove the 200 balloons over and still ended up blowing up an additional 100 or so balloons... All I can say is Praise the Lord for young, healthy lungs!

They Like Me... They Really Like Me!

2009-12-09T08:44:00.001-08:00

Monday I finished my Calculus final finishing out the Fall 2009 semester! I ended up getting 51/50 on my final meaning that I scored above 100% on all three exams in the class. My professor even offered to write a letter of recommendation for me. I'm not trying to brag or anything like that. It's just so nice to feel like you are good at something. It's nice to feel like I am smart and I can get through this last bit of school.

Yesterday I met with an Academic Adviser to check on all my transfer credits and see how my General Ed and graduation requirements are going. Since I transferred from another Cal State school, all of my units transfer but the requirements are different for the two schools so I had to petition for a couple of classes to count in certain sections (which the adviser helped me fill out the paperwork and I turned it in after the meeting). If my petitions are approved, I will only be missing 3 classes to complete my Gen Ed which is nice. I also need 120 total units in order to graduate (40 units have to be upper division which I think I have around 15ish) and by the end of the Spring semester, I will have 112. So where does that leave me for school? Well, I have to meet with the Liberal Studies adviser to develop a contract outlining my course of study (Liberal Studies with a Math Concentration and a possible Minor in Foundational Math). The goal of that meeting will be to try to incorporate what I have already been taking and what I need to take (in order to pass all three levels of the Math CSET) into a course of study so I can graduate. If (When...) I pass the CSET, I can apply for a masters/credential program for Math.

I can't tell you how nice it is to feel supported at school. I actually feel like there are people there who want me to succeed and want me to graduate. And I finally feel like I am close and can actually finish school. This semester was a little hard just because of my bad attitude towards Computers but once I got over myself and just did the work, it was much easier. Looking back on this semester, I can honestly say that I like school again and I am excited for next semester! I know it's going to be a lot of really hard work, but I think I can do it and I am excited to try!

Math Suicide

2009-12-01T13:23:00.000-08:00

I just registered for my classes for next semester and I went with option 1. I will be going to school on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 8:30am - 4 or 5pm (depending on the day). I have registered for 17 units but 5 units are two online classes and 2 units are Math labs that usually only help better my understanding of concepts discussed in class. I have 7 classes (again, two are online and two are Math labs), 6 of which are Math classes. It might be Math suicide but I couldn't resist the Tuesday/Thursday schedule.

Two more days of class this week and one final on Monday and I am done for the semester!

Oh Wow

2009-11-29T22:51:00.000-08:00

This is what I do when I can't go to sleep because I took a two hour nap at 4pm... I watch gross YouTube videos and update my blog... This video is pretty nasty so if you have a weak stomach, don't watch this!

Ain't It Good

2009-11-29T22:17:00.000-08:00

Last night I had the unbelievable pleasure of attending the Simi Valley Cultural Arts Center production of Children of Eden. This play is one of Steven Schwartz's musical wonders and my good high school friend Darrienne Lissette Gross stared as Eve and Mama Noah. As the names probably tell you, this play is an artistic interpretation of the book of Genesis (specifically the story of Adam and Eve in the garden up until Cain and Abel and then jumps to the story of Noah and the Ark in the second act). The music was brilliant and the actors were incredible but the content of the play really bothered me. I say 'artistic interpretation' because it is a terrible interpretation of the book of Genesis. I won't even get into how off the content and order of events were in the play because they are too many to even begin to count, but what bothered me the most about the play was their interpretation of God (Father in the play). They (and by they I don't mean the company because they are just going with the script they are given... I guess I mean Steven Schwartz and John Caird) painted this picture of a mean, unforgiving father who abandoned his people. It just made me really sad to see this father who is nothing like the Father that I know and love.

All this to say, it was an incredible show and my friend Darrienne is AMAZING!!!! The show goes on for one more weekend so if you have the time, I highly recommend supporting one of our own, very talented Ojai native. She will also be performing in a production of Rent this coming New Year so check her out! This video is just a taste of Dar's amazing talent!

In other news, I am back to work for the next two weekends before my long 4 weekends off (with no pay which sucks but I've been trying to prepare for it for awhile now so hopefully everything will be ok... pray that my loan gets approved so I can pay for next semester which I register for on Tuesday) and I have one week left of school and one final before semester break! Ain't it good!

Let's Take a Vote...

2009-11-14T12:06:00.000-08:00

Ok... I am going to be registering for classes soon (December 1st) and I thought I'd take a vote to see what schedule I should go for this semester. I am currently a Liberal Studies Major with a concentration in Math and am also picking up a Math Major to pick up some math classes in order to pass all three parts of the CSET Math exam in order to get into a Math Credentials program.

Option 1: 17 units (but 2 units are labs that I don't always have to attend)
- History of Mathematics - Online
- Health Issues in Education - Online
- Calculus 2 Lab - Tues and Thurs 8am
- Calculus 2 - Tues and Thurs 10am
- Logic and Mathematical Reasoning - Tues and Thurs 12
- Mathematics and Fine Arts Lab - Tues 1:30
- Mathematics and Fine Arts - Thurs 1:30

Option 2: 16 units (1 unit is a lab)
- History of Mathematics - Online
- Health Issues in Education - Online
- Calculus 2 Lab - Tues and Thurs 8am
- Calculus 2 - Tues and Thurs 10am
- Developmental Psychology - Tues 12-2:50
- Teaching Drama to Children - Fri 9-11:50

Option 3: 16 units (1 unit is a lab)
- History of Mathematics - Online
- Health Issues in Education - Online
- Calculus 2 Lab - Tues and Thurs 8am
- Calculus 2 - Tues and Thurs 10am
- Developmental Psychology - Tues 12-2:50
- Modern Mathematics for Elementary Teaching 1 - Numbers and Problem Solving - Mon and Wed 12 - 1:15

All of these classes are actually required... I prefer option 1 but what do you think?

'Tis the Season

2009-11-14T11:46:00.000-08:00

It is officially the Holiday season when I get to have a Winter Dream Tea Latte from Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf which I had on Thursday this week. Let me tell you, it was delish!

It's been awhile so let's see what's been going on. Last I left you, I was complaining about my group project. Well, the project has come and gone. The lady that I was complaining about in the group didn't show up for our presentation and actually hasn't been to class since the day before our presentation. I tried to call her to see if she was alive, but I was unable to get a hold of her. Hopefully she is ok and we may have done better without her... But we still only got a C+ which I was unhappy about, but I ended up getting an A on the response paper which is half of that grade which helps out a ton! Only two more weeks (not counting the week off we have for Thanksgiving... Furloughs gave us the whole week as opposed to just the two days...) or instruction this semester before finals (and I only have one final... so nice).

I started tutoring a couple of kids at OVS. So I am now at OVS 5 days a week. The money is good and it's nice to see the kids succeed in their classes with a little bit of extra support. Halloween came and went. We took the kids trick or treating which was a whole big fat mess that I won't go into because it's too long of a story. The kids also carved pumkins which was fun. Right now I am sitting in the computer lab at school with two kids waiting for the 8th graders to finish their SSATs (it's like the SATs but for private High Schools). This is my last weekend at work before Thanksgiving break (two weekends off). After Thanksgiving break I work for another two weekends before Winter break (where I have 4 weekends off with no pay...). So, if you need any cleaning/babysitting/yardwork/whatever done in that time period, I would love to help you out.

Group Projects

2009-10-01T14:11:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, for the first time in several months, I slept in! That's right. 8 am! It was glorious and actually it put me in a rather good mood today. Surprising what sleep can do for you.

So Tuesday we had our peer editing groups as you may have read from the previous post. I was super nervous about it, but it turns out they liked my paper. I was hoping for some more suggestions for my paper but it was helpful to hear that they thought I had a good paper. I still am not fully convinced so I am having Holly proof my paper tonight (turns out she loves proofing papers). Class today went really well. Since we are wrapping up our papers (oh yeah, she extended the due date to Tuesday which means I can breathe a little), my professor broke us into our groups for our group project. The project is a 30 minute presentation having to do with Themes of Feminism. Let's be honest, I hate group projects! Maybe it's cause I have never had a good group. There is always the weak link (someone who never meets with the group, doesn't do their share, or just doesn't understand English and therefore can't participate the way you would like them to). In my case this time it's the third. We have this lady in our group who is probably in her late 50s and is from China. Not only is English her second language, but she also rarely ever uses a computer and doesn't know how to do research properly (or at all for that matter). Now, I don't have anything against people of more advanced ages going back to school to finish up their degrees. I think it's great! Let's be honest, I may be one of them someday if I can't finish this stuff up. But what I struggle with is that she speaks very broken English and most of the time I don't understand what she's talking about and more then that, I am pretty sure she has no idea what I am talking about. It's hard to trust her with parts of the project when we are all going to get the same grade for the presentation... The other part I hate about group projects is trying to find a leader. While the project doesn't actually require assigning a leader, it's nice to have someone initiating conversations and getting everyone on the same page. I don't really like being that person. I would much rather let someone else do that job, but it seems in every group I am in, no one else will step up, causing me to take charge.

The group situation is actually not all that bad though. We chose to talk about Women in Music which is a SUPER broad topic and we are each taking this weekend to narrow the topic to a direction we as a group may take. I am thinking of talking about women as singer-songwriters and talk a little about Janis Joplin and other artists who kinda paved the way for women as singer-songwriters today. The other idea I have is to talk about women as musicians in bands. I was watching an episode of SNL a few months ago when Beyonce preformed and I remember being kinda shocked by her all girls band. It's not something we really see a lot of and it got me thinking about specific instruments that are considered more masculine (trumpet, sax, electric guitar, drums, base...) and then the instruments that are more feminine (flute, clarinet, piano...). I guess I'm just really excited about the topic and the freedom we have in this project that it makes me really excited about working with the people in my group, even if I have to be the leader and carry the one lady in my group.