It's Out Of My Hands

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I hope everyone enjoyed their turkeys (the birds I mean), hams, mass amounts of food, and time with the family. I know mine could have been better. I guess I just have been frustrated lately with not a lot of things going the way I planned them. For example, Australia, my uncle's passing, and more recently a change in tradition. It's a tradition with my immediate family (my parents and sisters) to go see a movie on Thanksgiving day. It's almost the only movie I see all year. We had been planning to go see Bobby for the last few weeks, but, as I have been finding out lately, plans change. We got a call around 9:30 this morning from my cousin Candice (she was hosting Dinner at her house this year) who was already panicking about not finishing everything in time. She asked us to come over and help her and of course we did. But instead of being happy about being able to help my cousin, I was pissed off that I didn't get to go to the movies (pretty selfish, huh?).

Like I said in my post from a week ago, I have been reading a book called "Buck-Naked Faith: A Brutally Honest Look at Stunted Christianity" by Eric Sandras PhD. I don't really like it that much, but the last chapter talked a lot about being a part of God's story rather then making Him a part of your own. This is something I have really been praying about lately because I often find myself trying to fit God into my own story rather then conforming my own life to be a part of His. Today sort of sent me over the edge emotionally and I just started to cry (basically just being overwhelmed, and not really having anyone to talk to about it). But crying was good because it helped me focus on what I needed to do, and that was to allow myself to be a part of God's story. As I was listening to my ipod today and I came across a song that I haven't listened to in awhile. The song is by Matthew West (his Happy CD)and it really made me think about being a part of God's story and it kind of explained how I have been feeling the last couple of weeks:

"There you go changing my plans again; There you go shifting my sands again; For reasons I don't understand again; Lately I don't have a clue; Just when I start liking what I see; There you go changing my scenery; I never know where you're taking me; But I'm trying just to follow you; It's out of my hands; It's out of my reach; It's over my head; And it's out of my league; There's too many things that I don't understand; So it's into your will, And it's out of my hands; There you go healing these scars again; Showing me right where you are again; I'm helpless, and that's where I start again; I'm giving it all up to you; It's out of my hands; It's out of my reach; It's over my head; And it's out of my league; There's too many things that I don't understand; So it's into your will, And it's out of my hands; Move me, make me, Choose me, change me, Send me, shake me, Find me, remind me, The past is behind me; Take it all away; Take it all from me, I pray; It's out of my hands; It's out of my reach; It's over my head; And it's out of my league; There's too many things that I don't understand; So it's into your will, And it's out of my hands"

This song helped me remember that it's all out of my hands and that God is in control of it all. His story is much more important then my own and I would rather be a part of His story. It's not easy, but I'm trying.

(BTW: Please pray for me tomorrow. My friend Chad is a student at Vidal Sassoon Academy in Santa Monica and he asked me to model for him and I agreed to it. One other person has touched my hair besides my Mom and she totally screwed it up so to say the very least I am way nervi. Please pray for my hair (that sounds so lame). I know it's just hair and he wouldn't do anything I wasn't comfortable with, but I am still way nervi!)