Hello! My name is Michelle..

This last weekend was pretty rough. Friday was a hard day with grandma. Her mental status is declining at a rate faster then what we originally thought which is hard to keep up with not only physically, but also mentally and emotionally. We can't tell her about anything ahead of time anymore (like people coming to visit or appointments) because she obsesses over them and asks a million questions (usually they are ones that she already asked and forgot that she asked and what the answer was). The hardest part of the day is probably the mornings although meal times are quickly catching up. Getting dressed is her biggest challenge mentally while her biggest challenge physically is probably eating. It's so hard to stand by and try and help when there's not a whole lot you can do. Some days (like Friday and, from what I hear, Saturday) she gets very angry and defiant. It's days like that when I can't help but feel annoyed which is usually quickly followed with extreme guilt. Friday I was impatient and it showed. Grandma even asked my if I was angry with her. I wanted to cry for making her feel that way and for not having enough patience. My name is now Michelle (according to grandma) because she can't remember Michaela. I've heard of other people's grandparents forgetting names and stuff but it's pretty heartbreaking when it happens to you.

I am really struggling with this but I know I'm not alone. We are having someone come in three days a week to help alleviate some of the added stress. And I am happy to see my family getting closer because of this. Please continue to pray for answers and wisdom from the doctors. And please pray for added patience for others both in my own life and in my family's lives.