DREAMS

Have you ever had your dreams crushed by someone? Have you ever felt like everything you ever hoped for had just been crushed? Have you ever seen the look on someone's face when their dreams have just been crushed? Have you ever been the one to crush someone else's dreams? It turns out that I have now joined the later of those two groups. This last weekend we had a social at work and the kids put on a variety show which was terrible. The whole thing was super unorganized and there was zero supervision other then me and I was getting pretty pissed off. Now there are different levels of Michaela being pissed off... There's upset, annoyed, pissed, ticked off, and Panic Attack... Friday I was bordering the last one. We have had trouble with socials at work because they want to let the kids run them but the music is always terrible and no one dances which is frustrating so it was really no surprise that non of the kids were dancing at this one. What was surprising was watching every single kid walk outside during the dance because they didn't like the music being played. When the DJ (who was a student) came outside to ask everyone why they weren't dancing, I simply responded, "It's because everyone hates your music..." As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I wanted to vomit. How on earth could something so cruel and hurtful come out of me and be directed at a student? The look on her face seriously made me want to die. I apologized several times later that night but that is definitely one moment I would like to take back if I could...

Anticipation

Anticipation is a funny thing. It can make you a little crazy about things sometimes if you let it get out of hand. My uncle and his wife are having a baby today (or they already had it... we haven't heard yet) and grandma is very anxious about that happening. I don't think that I am really anxious about anything right now, but there are a few things that I am very excited about:

1. School's out for the summer! I finished my first year at CSUCI and I have to say I feel really good about it. I actually made friends and got involved this year which is kinda a big deal for a hermit like me.
2. Grades: I am not sure on some of my grades, though I can guess what I got. I am however very excited that I got a B in Logic and Mathematical Reasoning. Seriously one of the more difficult classes I have taken. Not necessarily because of the content but more the professor. What a jerk!
3. Two more weekends at OVS. This weekend we are going to a Dodger's game and next weekend we are going on an Asia town trip in LA. These could potentially be my last two weekends at OVS for a very long time seeing that I don't have a contract for next year. But I am surprisingly ok with that. I know that God has a plan for it all and if OVS is no longer a part of that plan, I trust that He will provide.
4. Moving Day! A week from today I will be moving into FHOV. I'll be living in the good old Leo Carrillo for a few weeks alone before the rest of the staff move in. We have two weeks of ExPed and then a week of a guest group and then staff training begins.
5. Glee! I know. It's silly. But I really like this show. Mainly I like the music but the show is super funny! And these last 4 episodes will feature Idina Menzel (one of my favorite actors of all time!)! Even better, she will be singing in these episodes ("I Dreamed a Dream", some Barbara Streisand song that they won't release yet, and an Acoustic version of "Poker Face" with Lea Michele (another one of my favs!)!)!

Lots to look forward to and much to be thankful for! Tomorrow we go down to UCLA to find out the results from the NueroPsychological exam.

Daisy Love

God is so good and so faithful! For those of you who don't know, my parents attend a church called Reality in Ventura which is a branch off of Reality Carpenteria. Their teaching pastor's daughter, Daisy was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer about 7 months ago and only by the grace of God, she is now in remission. Check out this video for the full story.

Daisy from Reality on Vimeo.

Happy Mother's Day

I wasn't going to do a Mother's Day post but after today, I feel like I need to. First of all, I love my mother with all of my heart and I am so thankful to her for everything that she has done and continues to do for me. She is my rock and someone I look up to a lot.

But this post isn't really about her (sorry Mom... I love you!). This post is really dedicated to my grandma Linda. She's been having a rough time (especially this last month), as you probably have read in some of my previous posts. Today I came home from tutoring to find my mom and dad talking to my grandma who had apparently gotten upset about something that was said to her. I went out to my room to change and give them some time to figure things out and came in to find my parents praying over my grandma. My dad prayed for peace and understanding for my grandma. He prayed for patience and clarity of her mind to understand what's going on around her. My mom prayed for forgiveness for us as a family for not always being the most patient with her. She prayed that we also can understand how to help her with what she needs the most. Now, I don't know if you know this about me but I'm kinda an emotional person who is brought to tears fairly easily. So by this time I was already welling up a little, but then my grandma started chatting with God and I kinda lost it. She prayed while sobbing, "God, please help me. I don't know what to do. I don't know what's going on. I used to have a house and I used to do things, and now I can't remember. I don't know what's going on. God I know that you are in control and you have a reason for everything. But God, I've been asking for you to help me and you haven't. But God I know you don't always give us what we want when we want it. God please help me. I don't know what to do."

I pray that one day, when I am old and losing my mind to a disease, I can still have the faith that my grandma showed me tonight through her prayer and her continual faith.

Tessellated Cuboctahedron

Last week was my last week of formal instruction for this semester. Now all that stands between me and summer vacation are two finals, a paper on a Mathematician (that I still have to pick... any suggestions?), and a Tessellated Cuboctahedron... The picture above is what I am going for with that one... I'll try and take more pictures when I get it built.