Let's Talk

Do you ever have a conversation with someone that reminds you that you are not the only one who feels the way you do? That you aren't alone in your thoughts and ideas? That you aren't crazy?

I had one of those conversations today with a friend. It started out innocent enough. I hadn't seen her in awhile so I filled her in on my life and my family really briefly and then asked her how she was doing and how her family was. Well who knew that a little question would open up a conversation that would remind me of just how Big God is. She was so honest and open about her life and feeling burnt out and wanting to move on and feeling like God has something bigger planned for her and her family then staying in this little town and going through the motions. She talked about how she has been feeling God moving in her life recently and how she feels conflicted with what she has holding her here in her life and what the desires of her heart are. She is also confused and doesn't know if these desires are actual desires of her heart or a calling of the Lord.

It was kinda crazy and I can't really explain it but she put into words a lot of the same feelings that I have been having recently. Feelings of being burnt out (not with anything in particular but with things as a whole)... Big desires/dreams that terrify me but excite me to the point of tears... confusion in trying to distinguish my desires from what God has called me to do... And then guilt for having desires and not being content with what God has already given and done in my life... And the list goes on and on... And has been going on and on for about a month and a half (hence the lack of updates since the beginning of September). Today reminded me how great it feels to talk to someone about these thoughts and these feelings. It was a great reminder that I am not alone in these feelings. That I am loved and supported by many people around me that I need to reach out to in this huge time of transition in my life.

Thank You God for this reminder. And please give me the courage to share my feelings with others. Open doors and paths to where you want me to go. God, you know the desires of my heart God. But not my will but Yours be done!