Dream Maker

This week I was given the amazing opportunity to be a Dream Maker for about 100 terminally ill kids ages 4-14. Going into the week, I had no idea what to expect. My naive mind thought I would be surrounded with visibly sick and feeble kids that would pull at my heart strings and cause me to spend the week hiding my tears behind my sunglasses. Upon arrival day, this was apparently not the case. As kids started pouring out of cars and busses, I was shocked at how normal these kids looked. Yeah, some were losing or have lost their hair, a few had some physical disabilities, but after watching them play and run around camp for about an hour, it was evident that these were just normal kids who just wanted to play and have fun!

This summer our staff is studying some of the Pslams and this week we were studying Psalm 27. Reading through this Psalm about fear and God being the stronghold of our lives was a great way for our staff to start the week and as I went about my week, I repeated verse 13 which says, "I remain confident in this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living." There were so many times this week where I saw the "goodness of the LORD in the land of the living," but for now I will only share two of them...

The first way I saw the goodness of the LORD was when I was working REC. This week at REC we sort of cut back on some of the rules we have and allowed anyone who wanted to go on the Zipline go. Basically the rule was if they could fit in a harness and were within the weight limit, we would figure out a way to let them go. There were a few kids who weren't strong enough to carry the rope up to the launch tower so our staff had to carry the rope up to the to of the hill a few dozen times a day. For those of you who are not familiar with our Zipline, carrying the rope up the hill can be very tiring and it's not usually something you want to do in 95 degree heat with 50% humidity. But our staff gave 110% to helping kids take the rope up the hill. We also had some kids who couldn't climb down the dismount ladders, so I took it upon myself to climb up and carry them down the ladder. There was one little boy who was maybe 8 years old that I carried down the ladder that honestly just melted my heart. Normally I hate walking up the hill, but I found myself putting myself on the Rover position just to run the rope up and down the hill with the little kids. I even found myself volunteering to come in on my day off to work REC just so I could hang out with the kids again. The last day of REC, the little boy who melted my heart the first day came back to REC to ride the Zipline and I literally ran over to Nicki and offered to carry him down the dismount tower when he came down. He came down the Zipline and I carried him off the tower. Then he wanted to go on the other Zipline so I carried him up the hill to the launch tower. As we were walking up the hill, we were chatting and he kept pulling my sunglasses up off my face and started staring into my eyes. I finally asked him if he just wanted to see my eyes and he said yes. I sat up at the top of the hill with him for a bit before he went on the Zipline. Right before he went on the Zipline he made sure that I would be at the bottom to carry him down the ladder again. I promised him I would and ran down the hill to carry him down the ladder again. To see the joy on his face as he rode the Zipline and to hear him cheer and yell in excitement really reminded me of the goodness of the LORD.

The second way I saw the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living was Thursday night. Thursday was Africa day and our staff was asked to be the African entertainment for the night. We put together an African drumming routine accompanied with an African dance and preformed it for the kids. Then we taught the dance to the kids and invited them onto the stage to dance and play drums with us. After playing drums, I went up to the sound booth to play some African music and got to witness what I believe was the most beautiful moment of my life. Seeing the kids dancing and singing on stage with the rest of our staff was such a beautiful thing that it honestly brought tears to my eyes. That night, one of the main leaders also pointed out a girl who had rode the Zipline probably around 10 times this week who was on stage dancing with the biggest smile on her face. The leader told me that this particular girl will be lucky if she makes it through the next two weeks. To see her so full of joy in this particular moment and to think of the fun that she had all week long made me so thankful to have been a part of this amazing organization.

Please continue to pray for healing for these kids. Pray for protection as they go back home/the hospital (since some literally came straight from the hospital and will be going straight back to the hospital tomorrow) tomorrow. And pray that we will continue to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living!!!

Dream Street

I am so excited to write this post and tell you all of the amazing opportunity I am given this coming week. Next week we do not have program camp but will have a guest group coming (/some are already here) called Dream Street (click on Kids Camp and watch the video... it's awesome!). They are a nonprofit organization that organizes camps for terminally ill kids in order to make their dreams come true. As I write this, some of their volunteers are transforming camp into a Dream center for about 100 campers ages 4-14 who will be arriving tomorrow for what we hope to be the best week of their lives. They are bringing in so much stuff, from 10 tons of snow to a ferris wheel, petting zoo, bouncy houses and so much more.

In addition to this being the best week of these kid's lives, there is a high possibility that this could be the last week of their lives. They have had campers die at camp which is something I am trying to prepare myself for. But I am so encouraged to know that God is so much bigger then these kid's illnesses and could at any moment heal each and every one of these campers.

Please pray for these kids who are coming. Pray for safety and protection for each and every kid this week. And pray for healing for these kids. Most of them have been given a death sentence with their diagnoses, but God is the ultimate healer and is bigger then those diagnoses. Pray that this can be the best week of these kid's lives. And pray that they will come to know Christ through their week here.

Also pray for our staff. Pray that we will not get in the way of what God has in store for these kids this week. This is not a Christian camp so pray that we will be examples of Christ's love to each and every person, kids and volunteers alike, we encounter this week. Pray that God's love will come pouring out of us this week. Pray for strength and courage as we encounter some very sick children.

And finally please pray for me. Pray that God will keep my emotions in check (especially around our campers). Pray that I will be filled with Joy this week as I will be witnessing so much sadness. Pray that no matter what happens this week, I will be able to say Blessed be Your name! I am terrified about this week, but at the same time I am so excited!!! I really do think that this could be one of the best weeks of my life and it is all for the Glory of God! Most importantly please pray that God will be glorified in every aspect of this week!

To God be the Glory! Forever and Ever! Amen!

A Pixilated Life

Our first week of program camp is now over and I am so excited for the rest of the summer. This last week ran so smoothly and God was absolutely present and moving in the lives of our students, youth leaders, and staff this week.

Our theme this summer is "A Pixilated Life." We are looking at the life of David and how twice in the Bible, we are told that he was a "Man after God's own heart" yet if we zoom in at the pixels that make up the BIG story of his life, we see that there are some very dark pixels in his life. We are looking at David the poet, David the musician, David the warrior, David the adulterer, David the liar, David the murderer... All sides of David, and yet he can be called a man after God's own heart because God has used those dark and light pixels to create a beautiful story of David's life that is still just a small part of God's BIG picture. We are also turning that around and talking about how we are also a part of God's BIG picture. That all of our own dark and light pixels that make up the story of our lives are a part of God's BIGGER picture. It is a really cool theme that applies so well to the lives of our students, leaders, and staff.

Like I said, the first week of program went so well and it's mainly due to the amazing staff that we have again this year. True, a lot of our staff are returning from last year (about 70% of our staff are returners), but our staff has just done a really good job of being energetic and helpful. They also are great at keeping an eye out for each other and giving support when others are feeling weak. Being a part of a community like this is such a blessing and really reminds me of what the early Church looked like. I am so excited to see what God has planned for us the rest of this summer!

Great news people!!! I got my grades back for this semester:

- Capstone Project: A
- Math for Elem Teachers: A
- Math for Secondary Teachers: A
- Music in History: B
- Political Sociology: B+ (this one was very surprising... All I can say is PTL for the curve)
- Social Psychology: C (kinda bummed about this one but I did awful on all of the quizzes and those where worth 55% of the grade...)

I also heard back from CSUCI and it looks like after next semester I will indeed be a college graduate! Praise the Lord!

Summer is quickly approaching and in an effort to not slack off too much with my blog, I decided to set up my mobil blogging... So get ready for some short blogs...
In other news, Yesterday was Grandma's birthday. Nae made a cake... Tuesday I move into camp and start a 12 day straight work week (don't worry, I get breaks... And half days off...). 

Happy Mother's Day

So it's a day late... Who cares?

Yesterday was mother's day and for all of you mom's out there, I hope that you felt loved and appreciated yesterday. Yesterday I had the unique opportunity to not only spend Mother's day with my wonderful mommy, but also with both of my Grandmothers. Granted, one of them doesn't celebrate holidays (J.W.) and the other has Alzheimer's, but I still felt blessed to be around three amazing women who have made me who I am today.

Graduation

Nope. Not me... tricked you!

My little sister Sarah is graduating from college/Nursing School on Monday. She has turned in her final papers and is quickly entering a new stage in her life. I couldn't be happier for her.

At the same time, it's embarrassing to say, yeah my little sister is graduating next week. I feel like the biggest slacker alive for still having another semester ahead of me (which I know that I have been a slacker... I had a solid year or two of being a slacker, which is why she is graduating before me...). I can't help but think how confusing it will be when all of our family and friends get my graduation announcements 6 months after they got Sarah's. I know this seems petty but I am jealous. Maybe it's the fact that I still haven't heard back on my grad check yet to find out if I actually can be done next semester or not... Maybe it's just a little bit of that feeling of 'I'm the older sister so I should accomplish everything I want before my younger sisters'...

Whatever the case may be, Sarah Belle, I am so incredibly proud of you and what you have accomplished. You have worked so hard and have been through so much. You deserve every bit of joy and recognition for what you have accomplished. I love you very much and can't wait to see how God will use you and your gifts in your life!

Bad Tutor

Yesterday I got called a Bad Tutor...

So here's what happened. I was working in the tutoring center with a girl on some Pre-Calc. There were three other girls working with another tutor on the same subject so I offered for one or two of them to come over and work with us if the other tutor was too busy. The first girl I was helping was great; model student, super nice, asked questions, desired to learn the concepts instead of just getting it done, took directions well (she even emailed me later thanking me for my help and asked if I would tutor her privately for her test coming up)... We finished up and she left so two of the girls from the other group came over. One was good; nice, kinda quiet, definitely just was looking to get the work done instead of understanding the whole concept, but was polite and listened. The other girl was pretty awful; rude, only wanted me to do the problems and give them the answers, impatient, extremely sarcastic (I mean, I get sarcasm... at times I am guilty of some sarcasm... But you know those people who just take it too far? They are so sarcastic that anything out of their mouth is just mean even if it's not true?).

I was getting pretty fed up with this kid (I say kid because she was acting like a kid... maybe 19) by the time we got to the last problem. Without going to much into the mathematics of what we were trying to do, the question wanted us to use a theorem (that I have never seen before... it happens pretty often where something pops up that I have never seen but I usually can read the book a little and find an example and explain it in ways other can understand) to find an exact value of a complex, un-real number. I found an example and followed it but ran into a problem which ended up requiring us to approximate a number to find an exact value (if that's confusing to you, that's because it is... In math we like exact values because they are complete; no information gets lost along the way. As soon as you approximate, you loose information... So to approximate something in order to find an exact values is counter-intuitive and far beyond what you should be doing in Pre-Calc). The girl was so impatient through this whole thing, saying things like "maybe you should ask another tutor... I hear that's what you guys are supposed to do..." and "What's your name? I'm taking names." I did ask another tutor who ran into the same problem so we asked our boss (who runs the tutoring center and just gave her thesis talk or something on some math topic... basically, she's smart and knows her stuff). She went through the exact same process I did and got the exact same result. We gave them some other problems to try that would give them nice answers that they could apply the theorem to and called it a day. By that time, I was off duty and started to pack up my stuff. While I was packing up, the girl, talking to her friends, said, "It's fine, my teacher will just say I had a 'bad tutor' again." I couldn't hold it in any longer so I replied, "Thank you! That's really encouraging. I am glad we could help. You actually can tell you teacher that the person who runs the center helped you with that problem and got the same result."

So really, she didn't call me a bad tutor directly, but implied that someone (her teacher I guess... but I have doubts that any teacher would say that which makes me think it is just her... but I could be wrong) said myself and anyone else who has helped her before in the center were "bad tutors." I talked to my boss about it today and she said that she has had issues with this particular student before and has had to ask her to leave, which makes me feel a little better. Not that I am taking anything that she said seriously because she seemed like a really unhappy person who thinks the world should bow at her feet. Still, it was an interesting way to start out the week.

Re-Post

I must confess, I didn't write this... I read it on someone else's blog. But I like what she is adding to the conversation...

“10 years, 2 wars, 919,967 deaths, & $1,188,263,000,000 later, we managed to kill one person.” //Anonymous

“Justice has been done.” //President Obama

“America has sent an unmistakeable message…justice will be done.” //President George W. Bush

“We’ve poisoned the word justice with our illusory patriotism.” //Kourtney Jackson

This monumental event is the shot heard round the world. This is a proverbial tsunami sweeping across the United States. Lots of opinions have been stated. We as Americans pledge, “…liberty and justice for all.” But at what cost? Does justice condone the countless lives lost for the sake of the “war on terrorism”? Does justice demand retribution and vengeance? Are we, as humans and children of God, to seek justice?

There are lots of thoughts swimming around in not only my head, but many other people’s brains too. If anything I ask that we, as Christians, would be diligent in prayer. As Americans we should not wave our flags at Muslims, Al Qaeda, or any other country for that matter. God did not send his son just for America. God did not send his son to take on the sins of every single human being in the world solely for America’s gain. We have been shown mercy through the act of what Christ did for us on the cross. We should extend mercy to those that oppose us, those that persecute us, and those that send orders to kill thousands of people’s lives. The Bible tell us to, ” love your enemies. Pray for those who hurt you.” That’s pretty counterculture, eh? I’m not sure many Americans are quick to look up this verse found in Matthew chapter five.

I know what it’s like to lose someone to the “war on terror”. I know what it’s like to pray that my step brother who is in the Marines will make it home safely from being in Afghanistan. There is pain, grief, and much loss because of 9/11. We all feel it. We know the haunting feeling that occurs every September 11.

We, as Christians, need to pray for members of the Bin Laden family, Al Qaeda, and terrorists. Why? Because Christ tells us to. In fact, he doesn’t say it’s just an option if you want to possibly pray for your enemies, he implores us to pray for them. This is the same man who died for corrupt political leaders, terrorists, you, and me. We should seek to be more like Christ in our speech. We should not be quick to praise America’s so called act of justice. I ask you to think. To reflect. To pray.

Above all, “But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without hoping to get anything back. Then you will have a great reward, and you will be children of the Most High God, because he is kind even to people who are ungrateful and full of sin. Show mercy, just as your Father shows mercy. ” (Luke chapter)

America, please have mercy

Regret

I just registered for my last semester of my Undergraduate degree at CSUCI and I have to say, I feel pretty good about it. As of right now (still waiting to hear back on my graduation application), I am taking 4 classes; one online, two are only one day a week, and the fourth is two days a week. Meaning I will only have to be at school two days a week. It's a dream schedule and I am really praying that it works out.

Right now I am feeling pretty good, but a couple of weeks ago, I was starting to feel a bit of regret in regards to my degree. Switching majors and schools was a big mess for me and I made the difficult decision to not pursue a math degree with, what I feel, was not a whole lot of information or knowledge of what I was capable of. My friend keeps asking my why I am not a Math major and I keep telling him its because I didn't want to spend the rest of my life in school. I needed to see an end to this. I needed to move on with my life. But it wasn't until he told me "You should have been a Math Major" that I started to feel some regret about my decision. Don't get me wrong, I am happy to be done (almost). I am happy to be moving onto the next step. I am happy in the path I am taking. But there is that little voice in my head now saying "You should have been a Math Major." I know it's a normal voice. I am sure many people hear the same voice as they come to the end of their schooling. But there it is... The little voice inside my head...