Sunday, August 31, 2014

Introvert Probz

I am an introvert! There... I said it...

I've been thinking about this a lot lately over the last few weeks. Wondering why I just don't want to be social or go out. I know what depression feels like and I promise you it is not that. It seriously just takes so much effort to be on. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE hanging out with people. Hanging out and talking or even just listening to close friends or family brings me so much joy. But I can't tell you how great it feels to just sit at home by myself sometimes. Large crowds and spontaneous events with people that I don't know... Ain't nobody got time for that!

What brought this on, you may ask? I read a blog the other day that had a list of 11 things you should know about an introvert. And while all 11 don't totally explain me, I thought I might give you my own list of things you should know. So here it is, 8 things you should know about me (and yes I stole a lot of these from the other blog... I'll be sure to cite my sources for you at the end).

1) I don’t hate being around people, but I probably hate crowds.
I love being with people, but if you drop me into a large crowd I instantly feel like I’m alone and invisible. I try to avoid situations where I feel that way, so I may decline your open invitation to some random event. It doesn’t mean I don’t like to be around you, it just means I like to have more control over my surroundings.

2) I need to recharge alone.
This right here is the cusp of the entire introvert v. extrovert debate (if there is one, anyway) – Introverts need to be alone to recharge. We tend to get completely worn out by socializing. This is basically what it means to be an introvert.

3) I don’t mind silence. 
I can sit beside you in silence and not think we are having a bad time. This is especially true on road trips and can be a little confounding to true extroverts. For this reason, I especially like going to the movies where it is already considered rude to chat. Rule #1 for dealing with introverts – Don’t tell me I’m “too quiet.” I hate that. Sorry I’m making you uncomfortable, but you really don’t get to decide how much I have to talk.

4) I can turn on an extroverted personality when necessary, but it is especially draining.
I have no problem getting up in front of a group of people and giving a talk. I don’t even get nervous by a question and answer period. But – here is the thing – I will need major recharge time afterwards and I won’t be able to keep up this extroverted illusion all day. I can turn it on to dazzle a crowd, but if you take me out for lunch afterwards, I’ll probably just listen to you talk. I am an excellent listener.

5) I secretly love it when you cancel plans.
I like being with you, but finding out I suddenly don’t need to be “on” and it wasn’t actually me that backed out? – priceless! Don’t worry if you have to cancel, I’m probably thrilled to be able to stay in my pajamas.

6) I can get very wrapped up in my own thoughts.
My inner monologue is epic. When you have a strong monologue constantly running in the background, it is pretty easy to settle-in and listen for a while. I have to work through things in my head before I proceed, so I usually need a few minutes. When I’m ready to move forward though, I am 100% on top of it!

7)  I don’t like to hang around.

That time after an event or meeting ends and stragglers hang around to talk – yeah, I know this is the perfect time to make more plans, connect with new people, and get involved with future projects, but I really really really hate this. I’m probably already checking my phone in my car before you have even picked up your purse. Small talk with strangers is my kryptonite.

8) I can be pretty bad at connecting. 

You know when you have had a really bad day and you just want to call up a friend and chat? Yeah, I’m bad at that. I tend to wait for extroverts to reach out and include me, so when the time comes that I need support, I can be a bit lost.

That's it people. Just a few things you should know about me. Please don't take my withdrawal or internal monologue personally or like I am not listening to you. I'm listening. I promise. 

For more information about introverts like me, check out

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