DONE!!!!

That's right people! After 6 and a half long years of ups and downs and dropping out and transferring... I finally made it! Today was my last day of college and I couldn't be happier. When my last class was over, I couldn't stop smiling and all I wanted to do was praise God!

Rooftops

by: Jesus Culture

Here I am before you

Falling in love and seeking your truth

Knowing that your perfect grace

Has brought me to this place

Because of you I freely live

My life to you, oh God, I give

So I stand before You God

I lift my voice because you set me free

So I shout out your name from the rooftops I proclaim

That I am Yours, I am yours

All the good You've done for me

I lift up my hand up hand for all to see

You're the only one

Who brings me to my knees

To share this love across the earth

The beauty of Your Holy Word

So I kneel before You God

I lift my hands because you set me free

So I shout out your name from the rooftops I proclaim

That I am Yours, I am Yours

All that I am I place into Your loving hands

And I am Yours, I am Yours

Here I am, I stand with arms wide open

To the one, the Son, the everlasting God

I Heard it through the Grapevine...

Gossip is a funny thing... We all know it's wrong... We all know it is something we need to avoid... So why do we all still get sucked into it? I have realized that there are three different types of Gossipers...

1.) There are those who spread the gossip. These are the ones who hear something (or make it up) and pass it (or a version of it... or what they interpret of it...) on to other people. They might tell a few people or they might tell a bunch of people. They might think that they are "helping" other people out by filling them in on other people's personal information, but really they are just helping themselves by releasing something that was burdening their mind...

2.) Then there are then people who look for the gossip. These are the people who ask others to share what they know (these people and the 1st type get along great!). They may not necessarily share what they know with other people but they go out of their way to find it out.

3.) And finally there are the innocent bystanders. You wouldn't think it, but they are a big part of this gossip problem. These are the people who don't share gossip and don't pursue gossip, but are at the right place at the right time. These are the people who are around when the 1's and 2's are going at it... Sounds innocent enough... but these are the people who just let it happen... They don't say anything to stop it and they don't try and remove themselves from the situation...

Where is this coming from? I'm tired of gossip. And while I know it's unavoidable and it's never going to end, I'm attempting to make a change. Wish me luck...

A Little bit of Crazy

You know those crazy people? The ones that talk out loud, like they are talking to you, but you aren't sure if they are talking to you or not... So you make those faces that are kinda like saying, "Oh yeah?", "Wow, that's interesting...", or "Really?" There's this one crazy guy who comes in and swims every morning. And let's just say, I've gotten really good at these faces...

Divine Appointment

I believe that God is Big. It's hard for me to even wrap my mind around how big He is sometimes. Whenever I start to limit God or doubt how big He is, He seems to always throw people into my path that He uses to bring me back to Him and the His path. A couple of weeks ago, I had one of these Divine Appointments.

Recently I have really been praying a lot about the path I am on (in regards to teaching and what I will be doing after college...). Saturday mornings at camp, I have to open the dinning room at 7:30 to tidy up and get the room ready for breakfast at 8:30. Cleaning the room doesn't always take this long so I usually end up with some downtime to read and drink my coffee in a quiet room. This particular morning, however, we had a family group in and many of the older guests came up for some coffee. One lady in particular came straight over to my table and sat down to chat with me. I remembered her from years past but didn't remember her name or anything like that. We never had a conversation before (that I can remember) and there was no real invitation to join my very quiet table, yet she sat and started chatting away.

She asked me about my life and I shared with her that I am graduating this semester and am planning to teach Math. She got so excited (she even gave me a high five) and shared with me that she is a Science teacher. She told me all about her experiences teaching and gave me really good advice in regards to how long it takes to actually like teaching. She was so reassuring and comforting that I rang the bell late because I wanted to keep talking to her. Our conversation ended almost as quickly as it began, but the wisdom that she shared with me and the encouragement she gave me has lasted for weeks.

It's neat to see how big God is when He puts people in your life at the exact moment you need them... Even if it is only for a moment...

Defeat Me With Your Goodness

I like blogging. I like writing out my thoughts and going back and seeing where I have been and where God is taking me. Better yet, I like reading blogs. I currently have about 50 subscriptions to other people's blogs. Mostly people I know but some I do not know but like reading what they have to say. I wish I could explore more and read more of what people have to say.

I have recently been reading Donald Miller's blog a lot (as you can tell from a couple of my older posts) and was really touched by one of his recent posts. The post itself wasn't terribly profound and no it didn't bring me to tears (as many things often do...), but there was one phrase that just grabbed my attention and made me think. "God, defeat me with Your Goodness!" I am not sure what exactly I like about this phrase. It might just be that I really feel like I have been and continue to be defeated my God's goodness. A couple months ago, I opened myself up to God and His plan for my life and told Him to take control. And lately I have been so overwhelmed by His goodness and His plan that I have felt defeated. Not defeated like I want to give up but defeated like I want Him to pump the breaks a little and slow down a little.

The post is pretty short and I definitely recommend reading it if you have time, but if you don't, I think the last paragraph wraps it all up nicely:

"So here we are, temporary beings, with little to do but navigate our days in truth and humility. Perhaps it not the bigness of our personalities, but our smallness, our selves being defeated that will change the little bit of world God has appointed to us for caretaking. We connect with God when we ask Him to defeat in us all the ways in which He cannot connect, all the untruth and games and manipulation and we come to Him finally saying, okay, I get it, you really are good, defeat in me the lack of faith, let your goodness rid me of the stuff that doesn’t connect with you or the world around me"

Nerd Alert!

DISCLAIMER: I am a nerd... I am well aware... If you don't care for nerdy things... don't read...

Next week I am going to be teaching a couple of classes for our 6th grade Outdoor Ed program. I am really excited because I get to teach about Math in Nature. I wrote the curriculum for it last week and I literally can't stop thinking about it. It's fun to plan something and be so excited about it that you just sort of accept the fact that other people might not think it is as cool as you do. I think seeing Math in Nature is super cool. For example, the Fibonacci Sequence (1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55...) can be seen everywhere in Nature! Take the family tree of a male Honey Bee:

- A male Honey Bee is produced from the unfertilized egg of a Queen (female that is fed special hormones in order to produce eggs) Bee. Meaning they only have one parent.
- A female Honey Bee is produced from a fertilized egg: i.e. they have a mom and a dad.

So if we trace the family tree of a Male Honey Bee, you get something that looks like the following.
Anyone notice a pattern? If you go up the levels, you will notice that you have 1 Bee, who has 1 parent, who has 2 parents, then 3 parents, then 5 parents... And so on and so forth... It's the Fibonacci sequence people... So Cool!!!

I know I am a nerd... Don't say I didn't warn you!

Let's Talk

Do you ever have a conversation with someone that reminds you that you are not the only one who feels the way you do? That you aren't alone in your thoughts and ideas? That you aren't crazy?

I had one of those conversations today with a friend. It started out innocent enough. I hadn't seen her in awhile so I filled her in on my life and my family really briefly and then asked her how she was doing and how her family was. Well who knew that a little question would open up a conversation that would remind me of just how Big God is. She was so honest and open about her life and feeling burnt out and wanting to move on and feeling like God has something bigger planned for her and her family then staying in this little town and going through the motions. She talked about how she has been feeling God moving in her life recently and how she feels conflicted with what she has holding her here in her life and what the desires of her heart are. She is also confused and doesn't know if these desires are actual desires of her heart or a calling of the Lord.

It was kinda crazy and I can't really explain it but she put into words a lot of the same feelings that I have been having recently. Feelings of being burnt out (not with anything in particular but with things as a whole)... Big desires/dreams that terrify me but excite me to the point of tears... confusion in trying to distinguish my desires from what God has called me to do... And then guilt for having desires and not being content with what God has already given and done in my life... And the list goes on and on... And has been going on and on for about a month and a half (hence the lack of updates since the beginning of September). Today reminded me how great it feels to talk to someone about these thoughts and these feelings. It was a great reminder that I am not alone in these feelings. That I am loved and supported by many people around me that I need to reach out to in this huge time of transition in my life.

Thank You God for this reminder. And please give me the courage to share my feelings with others. Open doors and paths to where you want me to go. God, you know the desires of my heart God. But not my will but Yours be done!

Dream

Do you ever hear a song that just meets you where you are, right at that exact moment and time? I came across that song today. And listened to it four times bringing me to tears each and every time thinking about the things God has been putting on my heart lately.

Dream

By Priscilla Ahn

I was a little girl alone in my little world

who dreamed of a little home for me.

I played pretend between the trees,

and fed my houseguests bark and leaves,

and laughed in my pretty bed of green.

I had a dream

That I could fly from the highest swing.

I had a dream.

Long walks in the dark through woods

grown behind the park,

I asked God who I'm supposed to be.

The stars smiled down on me,

God answered in silent reverie.

I said a prayer and fell asleep.

I had a dream

That I could fly from the highest tree.

I had a dream.

Now I'm old and feeling grey.

I don't know what's left to say

about this life I'm willing to leave.

I lived it full and I lived it well,

there's many tales I've lived to tell.

I'm ready now, I'm ready now,

I'm ready now to fly from the highest wing.

I had a dream

Do you ever have a moment in your day when you think, "Oh I can't wait to tell So-and-so about this"? Or do you ever have a lull in your evening and think, "I'll call So-and-so..."? I was thinking about that the other night... Mostly because I don't have a "So-and-so." I don't mean that to be a, "boohoo me... I don't have any friends... I'm so lonely..." that's not what I am saying here... All I am saying is when I come to a point in my day when there is a lull, or something exciting happens, I sometimes wish that I had a "So-and-so"...

Show Me Your Glory

I see the clouds, I step in

I want to see Your glory as Moses did

Flashes of light, Rolls of thunder

I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid

Show me Your glory, Show me Your glory

Show me Your glory, Show me Your glory

I'm awed by Your beauty, lost in Your eyes

I want to walk in Your presence like Jesus did

Your glory surrounds me and I'm overwhelmed

I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid

Show me Your glory, Show me Your glory

Show me Your glory, Show me Your glory

I want to look on the face of the One that I love

Long to stay; in Your presence is where I belong

I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid

Show me Your glory, Show me Your glory

Show me Your glory, Show me Your glory

What does it look like to daily pursue God? To desire to be close to Him? What if we were faced with the awe-inspiring beauty of His glory daily? What would it be like to actually be lost in His eyes? I think I would be afraid. But I want to see Your glory God. Show me Your glory! "I want to look on the face of the One that I love. Long to stay; in Your presence is where I belong."