Who's Got the Keys?

Boy Oh Boy it's been awhile since I've posted. Sorry about it. A lot has happened since the last time I posted. Summer has come and gone and I am now in the full swing of my new job. Posting over the summer has never really been my strong suit. Summertime I just don't have a whole lot to say I guess. Or I am just busy doing stuff that I don't have time to process things in my brain and put it to paper (or a computer screen...). And then sometimes, I have a ton of stuff I want to say and I start a post but don't publish it because I don't know exactly how to say what I wanted to say. I probably have two or three posts just sitting as drafts because I can't find the words to share what it is I want to get across. I guess that's what writers block feels like. Wanting to say something and having it sitting in your head and just not being able to find the words to let it out.

Well today, I was feeling inspired and so here you go.

Inspiration comes from many different places around us. Sometimes it's a conversation with someone. Sometimes it's an article you read or a news story. And many other times, as is the case with me at least, it comes from a church sermon. Today's inspiration, however actually comes from two places. It's crazy how when God is really trying to tell you something that you need to hear, He brings it to you through many different paths. This morning I was reading an article in Relevant magazine called The End of Purity Culture. It talked about this crazy phenomenon that happened in the 90s and early 2000s in Christian culture. This idea of signing a pledge, wearing a ring, and making a commitment to stay pure until marriage. A commitment to wait patiently for the one that God created just for you, who is hopefully waiting for you too. 

Now, I'm not trying to make fun of this idea and I don't think this article was doing that either. I made that commitment myself when I was 13 or so (and I literally just realized that was 15 years ago... ouch)... But what this article does talk about is that this idea of saving yourself for marriage has caused many huge problems in the Christian community today. The problem with making this commitment is this idea we get in our heads that marriage is something that is going to happen for us. And that honestly is just not always the case. In 2013, only 26% of millennials  ages 18 to 32 were married. What happens is when we make this commitment to wait, we are stuck waiting for something that might not happen. And when it doesn't happen or we are waiting and waiting for something that feels like it may never come, we are left disappointed and discontent with what God's answer is. 

I know I have felt that way more times than I would like to admit. I have been disappointed with the direction of my life. I have felt disconnect with my love life (or really lack thereof). I have felt unwanted and unlovable. I have been waiting. And waiting. And waiting for something that honestly feels like it will never happen. I have been mad at God and have felt like He has let me down. I have been there and I know exactly what this article is talking about.

The article (which I linked above and if you have time, is an excellent read which I highly recommend... whether you are a millennial or know one... although I am going to summarize a good portion of it now...) outline three truths that this purity culture has to cling to rather than waiting in disappointment and discontentment. 

• The first is "Expectations Shouldn't Turn into Entitlement." Many of us are raised or taught or even pressured by others that marriage is the ultimate aim for adulthood. We start to think that God owes it to us to give us the person we are meant to marry. And that's just not the case. The article suggests, "In lieu of signing pledges to wait for our spouse (which implies the promise of a spouse), we should instead commit our hearts to trusting that God is good, when things go as planned and when they don't." God is good and He will give us all that we need. Whether that means marriage or not.
• The second truth is that "Only God can fulfill our Deepest Needs." One of the major problems with this purity culture is thinking that we will save ourselves for marriage, which makes marriage the ultimate goal; the ultimate fulfillment. Many people will jump into marriage or focus so much on getting married that they lose focus and never feel complete or whole, even after they get married. Jesus is the ONLY one who can fulfill us. One of my favorite quotes from his article is "The key to fulfillment is to focus on becoming the one God made us to be instead of finding the one we're supposed to marry."
• Finally, the last truth of the article is "Our Completeness Doesn't Hinge on our Marital Status." I am complete in Christ. Period. I am not broken or half of something without a husband. No individual can complete me. It is only through Christ that I am made whole. That is one major thing that this purity culture was missing. That is one major thing that I was missing. "As we begin to live a life of courage and boldness, knowing that we are whole individuals with or without a spouse, we begin to build a life worth sharing, whether that be with a spouse, or a strong community of family and friends."

Like I said before, it's nuts how when God has something to tell you, He doesn't just whisper it (or at least He doesn't for me...)... He screams it at me through multiple venues. After reading this article (well... when I was halfway through it and already feeling convicted), I was sitting in church being rocked by a sermon in which the pastor talked about giving God the keys to your life. It wasn't about just giving Him the keys and letting Him drive, it was about giving Him full access to every part of our lives. 

We looked at 2 Kings 4: 8-17 and to summarize, the passage was about Elisha and the Shunammite Woman. When Elisha would go through the town where this woman lived, she would invite him in and feed him. She even made her husband build Elisha a room on the roof of their house so he might have a place to rest. Elisha eventually asked her how God could bless her. He asked her is there was anything that she wanted. She had no requests. She was content with her life and it brought her joy to bless and serve this man of God. Elisha found out that this woman and her husband never were able to have children. So Elisha told her in one of his visits, this time next year, you will be holding your son. She didn't believe him of course because she was old and so was her husband. But sure enough, the following year, she had a son.

Handing the keys over to God and giving him full access and full control of our lives, God will do amazing things in us and through us. Positioning yourself and preparing a place for God in our lives prepares us for His purposes. God is good and He promises us our hearts desires. But sometimes the promise God has for you is different than the promise you hoped for you. God promises us the desires of our hearts, but we need to pray that our desires are His desires. As we draw closer to him and make room for him in our lives, His desires become our own and only then can we live a life a fulfillment and contentment. God wants to shower us with more than we every dreamed, but we have to make room for God to move in our lives. 

"God makes promises He can keep, extends grace with abandon, and meets us wherever we are in the journey. Regardless of our marital status, we'll never be disappointed when we put all our hope in Him, entrusting our futures to the One that knows what tomorrow holds." I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I trust the one who holds it. And that's good enough for me.