Peace

Due to this current, exciting state of utter confusion (yes it is very exciting!!!) that I find myself in, I have been intensionally putting aside time to read my Bible, do some devotions, and just sit in the presence of God. Last night I read something about Peace that really sort of made me think and sort of do a self check. It's from Brennan Mannings Reflection For Ragamuffins:

"The way to peace begins with accepting the truth of myself - the whole truth. Any bit of me that I refuse to accept becomes the enemy. My struggle to cope with certain people has a simple explanation: they represent to me precisely those elements that I have refused to acknowledge and accept in myself.
"To accept the truth of my own brokenness is unbearable, if not impossible, without turning to Christ. If my vision of myself is not purified by the mercy and compassion of Jesus, I have to get dishonest, camouflage my warts, and present to you a self that is mostly admirable, fault free, and superficially happy.
"For Meister Eckhart the equation "in Christ = in Peace" is always valid. When I accept the truth of myself, shipwrecked and saved, and give it over to the person of Jesus, I am in peace even if I don't feel at peace. The peace that comes from God and surpasses all understanding (Phil 4:7) was wrought by Christ on the cross and does not depend on my shifting feelings and moods.
"The peace that comes through accepting the whole truth about myself is rooted in Christ "who has reconciled all things in himself, making peace through the blood of his cross." The "Shalom" of Jesus is not a mere greeting but an authoritative declaration from the Son of God, a crucified word that produces the peace it proclaims."

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalms 139:23-24

As a child I was told that when people were mean to me it was because they saw something in me that they didn't like about themselves or I was the person that they wished they could be (now, this sounds like a giant power trip, and it really didn't come out this way exactly but I hope you get the idea... maybe you were told the same thing). I never reversed that way of thinking to actually examine myself. It's true that the things I don't accept in myself become the enemy and when I see those things in other people, there is usually conflict. How rad is it though that when we accept our whole selves as broken and saved the Shalom of Jesus becomes more than just a word but something that produces the peace it proclaims.

That's it... I read it last last night and I though it was really cool and I figured someone might get something out of it like I did. Last weekend I went to Axis to try out something new. The church service was good. Francis Chan is a great speaker and it was cool to finally hear him speak. The drive is sort of a bummer and I am looking for something closer. Today I ran into Danielle Sloneker who told me about a bible study that is starting up in a couple weeks for college kids so that might be a good alternative that I am praying about. This weekend is going to be crazy! Tonight I believe we are taking the kids to see The Pajama Game (it's the musical that Nordhoff is putting on this year). Tomorrow we will be heading down to Universal Studios for the day which I am sort of excited about (I have never been), but also dreading. At least my mom is on duty too so we get to hang out together! Please pray that this weekend goes well and that I have patience and energy for this crazy weekend.