I'm Good...

COMP 447 SOCIETAL ISSUES IN COMPUTING 3.00 Letter Grade B 9.000 ENGL 120 AMERICAN LITERATURE I 3.00 Letter Grade B+ 9.900 MATH 202 BIOSTATISTICS 3.00 Letter Grade A 12.000 MATH 208 MODERN MATH FOR ELEMENTARY TCH 3.00 Letter Grade A+ 12.000 MATH 240 LINEAR ALGEBRA 3.00 Letter Grade A 12.000 MATH 399 MODERN TOOLS IN MATH 1.00 Credit / No Credit CR MATH 399 MODERN TOOLS IN MATH 1.00 Credit / No Credit CR

As much as I complain about it... and as much as I dislike it... I'm kinda good at it...

Merry Christmas

I have always struggled with Christmas time... I can't stand the commercialization of Christmas... The hustle and bustle drives me nuts and people have always called me a Grinch or Scrooge because of it... It usually starts with the early playing of Christmas music that just pushes me over the edge. But this year, I really asked God to kinda work on my heart about the whole hatred towards Christmas thing and I really can say that I am happy that it's Christmas time. I am looking forward to spending time with my family and friends. And I have finally found some Christmas music that I not only can stand, but really like!

So in honor of Christmas time, here are some of my new favorite Christmas arrangements. Enjoy!

Erin McCarley - "Little Drummer Boy"

(Also see Katie Herzig's version of "Silent Night")

Seabird - "Joy to the World"

(Seabird's "Over the Hills and Everywhere" Christmas album is fantastic... So different from what anyone is used to, but so beautiful!)

Also look for Matthew Perryman Jones' "O Holy Night," Jill Phillips' "It Came Upon the Midnight Clear," and Many Mann's "O Come All Ye Faithful" on the "Your King Has Come" album. Absolutely beautiful!

Ingrid Michaelson - "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas"

Record Holder

I've been pretty quiet about this, but I thought it was time to share. For the past several months I have been training with my dad to compete in Powerlifting competitions. This last Saturday was my first competition in Powerlifting and I have to say it was really fun! It was neat to see all the different guys participating in the competition. A lot of the older guys had great stories about powerlifting back in the day and it was funny to see them react to the young bucks who "know it all." For being such an individual event, the camaraderie that I experienced was truly a blast!

So... How did I do? Well, I won 1st for my class (there was no one else in my class...) and got invited to work out with Scott Mendelson and his family at his gym in Chatsworth. Who is Scott Mendelson you ask? Well he just so happens to be someone who holds the record for both raw and assisted bench press. How much has we benched? Well, raw (without a bench shirt), he holds the record of 715lbs and with the bench shirt, he holds the record of benching 1009 lbs! Needless to say, he is a strong dude and he invited my dad to come lift with him (his wife invited me... that's why I say I was invited... He didn't technically invite me, but his wife did which I still consider an invite). Along with 1st place in my class and an invite to work out with the Mendelson family, I established an American Record for raw bench (there was no record so anything I benched would have set it...). More importantly, I set a personal best of 133lbs (I have been stuck at 125lbs for a while so I was super pumped to break through that). The best part of the whole day, I have to say is spending time with my dad and seeing him light up as he chatted with the other athletes. I am super excited for the next meet, but I have a lot of work to do before then... For now, I guess I can add American Record holder to my list of accomplishments...

Speaking Of...

Speaking of blogs, here is a funny one on this week's episode of The Fashion Show Ultimate Collection on Bravo featuring Ojai native Dominique Pearl David. It's fun watching someone you know on a national television show. It's also really funny to see how networks spin things to make shows more interesting. The show is basically a really bad version of Project Runway, but it's fun seeing someone you know and rooting for them even though it's already been filmed. If you haven't turned into this show, you should. Even though it's a bad knock-off version of Project Runway, it's pretty entertaining to see what Calvin is going to say next... "Oh here go hell come!"

Avalanche of Gossip?

Yesterday I submitted a 6 page research paper on blogs and I thought it only appropriate to write a blog entry on it. The prompt was similar to any research project; tell the history of blogs, where did they come from? Compare blogs to Usenet... The overall direction of the paper was to determine whether blogs illustrate empowerment and increased availability of information, or do they illustrate the avalanche of gossip and inaccurate or useless information on the Net? Considering that I have had this blog for the last 4 years, I thought that this was the best topic to choose for my research paper.

Blogs first came onto the scene in the mid 1990s with OpenDiary and later followed by LiveJournal and our beloved Blogger (later bought by Google in 2003). Usenet, for those of you who don't know is an online discussion program where users can submit articles and respond/post new articles in response to those articles. Basically it's a very early form of blogging that gives way less control to the users but allows for some great discussions on a global scale. Blogs are useful in all areas of life, from classrooms to large companies to a mini journal of the life of a 23 year old, 7 year plan college student. There are thousands of inaccurate blogs out there and yes, many quickly become "an avalanche of gossip" but I truly believe that as long as people have something to say, blogs with exist and thrive (well, until something better comes out...).

I Might Be Smart...

This semester has been a tough one for sure. Not necessarily in the content of the classes I have, but more in my daily schedule. Being at school Monday-Thursday from 9am-6pm is a big commitment and I don't think I realized that until it was too late.

But anyway, I only have 3 more weeks of this semester and then finals (two and a half really because the week of Thanksgiving is only a half week). I just got back my last two midterms of the semester (in math classes, the professors usually do two midterms and the final... so they really should be called tri-terms but midterms is usually what we call them...) and I was pleasantly surprised with the results. Like I said, the semester has been kinda hard and I have started to fall back into old bad habits of ditching class (especially my two classes that are from 4:30-5:45pm), but to be fair, my Biostats class only involves me sitting on facebook not paying attention (just like the rest of the class) and my Modern Math 4 Elementary Children is absolutely ridiculous! So I ditch a class here and there and before I realize it, I haven't been to class in two weeks and I have a midterm the next week (which is what happened in my Biostats class). I studied like crazy all week long to prepare for the test, and I ended up getting 100%. Holy crap, I might be smart! I also had a midterm in my Linear Algebra class which is my hardest class this semester and I got the highest grade in the class! I might be smart!

I get to register for next semester on the 29th and I have a schedule that I am shooting for. It'll be another 18 units this semester and then 15 the following semester, but then I should be done. It's nice to see the light at the end of the tunnel...

What Do You Say?

Yesterday in my Linear Algebra lab, my friend told me that over break she was getting her boobs done. Really? Who tells people in a Linear Algebra math lab stuff like that? I didn't really know how to respond to that information. I said "awesome" or something along those lines. I really didn't know what to say. It's not like she needs her boobs done either. She has to be at least a 'C' cup already... Why do people like getting their boobs done? It's not like she's gonna be any more comfortable running those marathons that she does... I just don't really get it, but if it makes her and her fiance happy, who am I to stop her?

Poems

Sometimes my grandma finds things from her past and shares them with us. The other day she found three poems that she wrote when she was younger that I thought I would share...

Dreams and Realtiy
by Linda Andrews

When I was a little girl, my hopes were all a dream.
Someday I'd be a mother, someday I'd be a queen.

I'd own a lovely castle, with children all around.
I'd have a loving husband, to share my royal crown.

Now I am not a little girl, but somehow I have found,
My dreams are a reality, my castle and my crown.

I have four lovely children, to give me love and joy.
To share with me their treasures, their dreams, and their rewards.

My husband is the fortress, in all that's said and done.
His strength and hope surrounds us, we're guarded with his love.

What more could I have hoped for, what more could I have dreamed,
I have the love, I have the joy, so few have ever seen.

Poems by Linda Andrews

I called to God in my distress,
I prayed for joy and happiness,
He told me just to love and pray
and ask no more than for this day.
He said He'd guide my every step
and give me joy of inner depth,
A peace and joy for each new day,
to guide in all I do and say.

I took Him at His word and prayed,
for guidance all along the way,
I asked no more than for today,
and prayed for Him to guard my ways.
He filled my life with hope and love,
with His great guidance from above
Now I have peace for each new day,
and happiness along the way.

Animal Activist... Check!

Yesterday I saved a red-tailed hawk... No big...

So here's the story. I was at work just finishing up running breakfast when one of the guests pointed out a beautiful hawk that was hanging out on a rock close to the kitchen. Ed and I watched it for a bit while trying to take some pictures. Ed got pretty close and spooked it to where it hopped down the hill a little bit. I thought it was pretty weird how it let us get so close but then when I saw it hop away instead of fly away, I knew something was up. I sat and observed the bird for a good twenty minutes and noticed another smaller hawk (which I later found out was a red shouldered hawk) was attacking the larger hawk (the one that was acting strange... which I later found out was a red-tail... I usually can spot them but this one was on the ground and I didn't get a good look at his tail). The larger hawk wasn't flying away (or flying at all) and even used his talons and beak to climb up into a tree...

I decided it would be best to call the Ojai Raptor Center to have them come pick up the bird and see what was up with it. After a runaround of call this number, and try this number, and "I'm out of the office, call this person...", I was able to get a hold of Bob who happens to be the snake guy who comes to do snake programs at Outdoor Ed and works for the Raptor Center. He came out and tried to catch the bird with a fishing net, but it climbed higher into the tree and we eventually lost track of him. Bob left and told me to call him again if the bird showed up again. Sure enough, later that afternoon, the hawk showed up again in the same area so I called Bob. He came out again and was able to catch the bird. From his initial assessment, he could tell that the hawk was extremely underweight and his flight muscles were extremely underdeveloped (which explains why he wasn't flying). I love the Raptor Center because they are so concerned about the animals but they also love educating people on the animals. Bob told me what they were going to check for with the bird and what could be wrong and how they might need to feed it. He even let me feel the chest of the Hawk to see how underdeveloped it's flight muscles were (that's right, I touched a red-tailed hawk... have you?). Bob called me later that evening and said that the Hawk was 22% underweight which is a lot for a bird. He said when they get to be 30% underweight, they just fall over dead. He also said in another day or two this guy would probably be dead. He told me that he had to insert a feeding tube to start bulking this guy up, but he was super happy that we got him when we did.

It sounds silly, I know. I really didn't do anything but call the Raptor Center. But if it weren't for Outdoor Ed and the few times I sat through the Raptor Center class, I wouldn't have known who to call or really took the time to watch the bird. I am so thankful for the Raptor Center and the work they do. If you ever have a chance to sit in one of their classes (the Raptor one with Kim or Bob's snake class), I would highly recommend it!

Ode to the Yellow Bug

I don't know what you listen to when you are in your car, but I personally enjoy listening to my ipod. Unfortunately I do not have a tape player in my car, so I am stuck using an FM transmitter to play my ipod through my stereo. It's a pretty cheap one, I will admit, but it does a great job on this one station... But there's this yellow bug that goes to my school; let's call him NIKZBUG (that's his license plate)...

Well, NIKZBUG likes to use the same radio station that I use... And his FM transmitter is way better then mine... So whenever he comes within 5 car lengths (that's not an exaggeration either...) of me, I pick up his radio station (which I am guessing is maybe an XM thing, but I'm really not sure)... This would be fine if his radio station was good, but his station just talks about sex... I don't want to hear that crap... So whenever my station starts to get a little fuzzy, I frantically look for that stupid yellow bug... I've become so paranoid that when I see other yellow bugs, I start to panic a little and drive faster or slower to avoid it (even if it's not him...)... Ridiculous I know... But I can't stand that stupid yellow bug...

Bon Voyage

My friend Cory moved today. I am very excited for where God is taking her. I admire her for her patience and faith in the Lord these last few years of her life which has led her to this point. I know God has great plans for her and I am excited to see how He is going to use her in Detroit...

But I'm sad. I miss my friend. I am sad that tomorrow morning when I get up and get ready to go get coffee, I won't have a friend to sit and share a cup of coffee with... I'm sad. But happy for her.

Hunter Imagery

Ryan asked me today about my cousin's photography which spurred me on to look at his stuff a little more... Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present to you my favorite photo...

For more great images, visit his website http://hunterimagery.com/ and/or like him on Facebook.

Work

I'm almost two and a half months into my "new job" (I put it in quotes because it's not really "new" but it's more full time/consistent then in the past) and I have to say I am really enjoying it. Yes, some weekends (most actually) are exhausting; Running around all day cleaning/stocking bathrooms, vacuuming, running meals, interacting with guests, lifeguarding (not anymore cause the pool is closed...), working rec (not as much now since the pool is closed and we have enough staff...)... By Sunday, I am usually pretty wiped out. But despite how much work it actually is, I really enjoy seeing and serving the different members of the body of Christ that come to our camp. It is such a joy to see how they run things and what they believe and how they interact with others. True, some are rude and pushy. Some are disrespectful and downright messy. But to serve them and love them really has been a joy and a blessing that I have really enjoyed.

This Is Me

Today's my birthday, and I have been thinking long and hard on what an ideal birthday would look like for me. I don't like birthdays (well, my birthday... I like other people's birthdays just fine). I don't like the attention that I receive the one day out of the year. Not that I would like it everyday of the year, but it's just a little bizarre to me...

Anyway, what would my ideal birthday look like? I think just a mellow day of hanging out with friends and family would be ideal for me. Not having any pressure to hang out with certain people or to really do anything. Not having to make any decisions about where to go or what to do because the people around me would just know me well enough to make those decisions for me. Just having the people that I love and care about the most around me showering me with their love would be enough for me.

Lunch Time

Remember that ToDo list I posted a couple weeks ago? Well yesterday I finally got to check off the last thing on that list; getting my car washed. I went to Costco's new $8 car wash and I have to say, I didn't enjoy it. When I went there I was thinking it was going to be super fun, like in Corrina, Corrina when Molly was able to pick anywhere in the world to go for her birthday and she chooses the carwash. It was a magical, happy place for her. Not so much for me. I felt claustrophobic and trapped knowing that I couldn't open my windows without getting sprayed by water, soap, and other crazy chemicals. I couldn't see out any of the windows and, despite knowing I was on a track, was afraid I was going to run into someone or something. My car is clean so that's a good thing, but I don't think I will be doing that again... I think I would prefer to pay $12 for the Ojai Car Wash where I don't have to sit in my car.

On another note, I think I am addicted to FroYo... I have gone twice this week in Ventura (Holly was housesitting and so I hung out with her a couple of nights) and I wanted to go again last night. It's just so darn tasty. I went to Wild Cherry for the first time and I was quite impressed! Not only are they cleaner then Tutti Fruiti, but they have more flavors and they are cheaper! If you are ever in the Ventura College area, you should stop by.

My last topic for today is food (probably because I haven't eaten all day and it's 12:30pm and I have another half an hour here in the tutoring center). Holly asked me the other day what my favorite restaurant is and I honestly couldn't give her an answer. I am not sure what my favorite restaurant is and to be totally honest, I am not sure I know what my favorite food is. I like sushi alot. I also like thai food. I like sandwiches. I really like really good turkey burgers (or a really good garden burger or even a chicken burger). I'm not a big pizza and pasta at restaurants fan. I don't like eating mexican food out cause I can make it at home. Maybe that's it. Maybe I just like stuff that I can't make at home very well. I mean, I do make a really good turkey burger (and blackbean and chicken burger). Needless to say, I don't know what my favorite food/restaurant is. All I know is I need to get some food in my body right now...

Pray for Daisy

God is so good! Daisy Love's tumor has shrunk by over 75%. It has gone from the size of a large grapefruit to the size of a slice of a small tangerine! The surgeon says that the tumor is barely there and there are no problems with it being around any major blood supplies. Her surgery is scheduled for Monday! Praise God! Please pray for a quick and easy surgery. Pray that Daisy will continue to be healed by the Holy Spirit. For continual updates on Daisy Love and the amazing things God is doing through the life of this little girl, check out prayfordaisy.com. God is so good!

A Bushel and a Peck

Sometimes I wonder why I like singing. And then I hear my grandma sing on the phone to my cousins and I remember. One of my few memories from when I was younger was my dad and my grandma singing songs to me. I mainly remember the three bears song. But today I heard my grandma sing the Bushel and a Peck song, and I about lost it. I love my grandma and I love hearing her sing.

"I love you, a bushel and a peck!

A bushel and a peck, and a hug around the neck!

A hug around the neck, and a barrel and a heap!

A barrel and a heap, and I'm talkin' in my sleep."

Manure... I Hate Manure!

Sometimes my school smells. Not like a nice smell either... My school has two smells. The first, most common smell I would say is green onions. Now, I like green onions. I use them all the time! But this green onion smell is so strong it literally makes me sick... The second smell is manure. Now, the intensity of this smell can range anywhere from minor to me literally thinking that there is crap on my shoe... It smelled like that yesterday... Gross! People say I'll get used to it... I don't think I will.

Familiarity

Familiarity is a good thing! It makes me feel comfortable and at ease. It makes me happy.

My classes again are in the same buildings they have always been in (with the exception of one class). I have two professors that I have had previous classes with. One of my classes is in the same classroom I have had all three semesters. I see familiar faces in all of my classes. I see familiar faces as I walk to my classes. It's great!

Today one of my classes got out early so Emy (who is in one of my classes) and I went and got coffee until we had to go to our next classes. Today was a good day.

To Do

I have always been a fan of To Do Lists. But these last few months in particular, I have been a HUGE fan of To Do Lists. Here is my To Do list for this week:

• Clean/Organize my room: I started this one but there is still a lot to do. It's amazing how unorganized a room can get when you don't live in it for several months...
• Sew a lunch Bag: This one is for my grandma. She started going to Little House, an adult day care center here in Ojai, four days a week and we pack her a lunch everyday. So we (my mom) thought it might be nice for her to have her own, homemade lunch bag. Which is great because I am always looking for new sewing projects.
• Get a Quote on my Car/Get Car Fixed/Get Car Smogged/Pay Car Registration: This is a big one... Several months ago, I got my car checked out because the check engine light was on. Turns out my car has low compression in one of the cylinders and potentially needs a new head (whatever that means...). I didn't take care of it at the time because I didn't have the money and still haven't taken care of it because I still don't have the money. Unfortunately my car registration is due on Sept 9th and I have to get my car smogged which means the check engine light can't be on which means, I have to get my car fixed. I could use some major prayer on this one because, like I said, I don't have the money for this and don't know how this all is going to work. But I know that God is Big and He will provide a way. If you know anyone who knows Dodge Neons and could do some work on it for me, let me know...
• Wash my Car: on top of my car not running well, I have majorly dropped the ball on keeping my car clean. I blame camp mostly. It's just so dusty. What's the point you know?
• Transfer Info from Old Computer to New: Our home desktop was on it's way out very quickly so my parents got a new computer. But all of our old stuff, including files and itunes are all on the old computer. So I have to transfer all of that old info onto my external hard-drive onto the new computer.

That's all I can think of right now. Let's be honest, the car thing is what's weighing on me right now. Please pray.

The End/The Beginning

Camp is over.

It's been over for several weeks now but I have been hosting full time and I am just getting around to sitting at a computer long enough to type up my thoughts. Camp was amazing and I can't even begin to list all of the amazing things God showed me and taught me this summer. I am sad that camp is done and my friends are gone, but I am excited to hear about what God has in store for them this year. I am also excited to still be a part of Forest Home with hosting on the weekends. This last weekend we had Camp Reach for the Stars which is a camp put on by the American Cancer Society for families affected by pediatric cancer. It was such an amazing thing to be a part of and it really made me thankful for my family and friends around me.

School started today. My schedule isn't totally crazy yet which is nice. Tutoring and my two Math labs don't start until next week so I only had two classes today with a very long break in between. I ended up having lunch at Panera (so glad we have one in Camarillo now!) and then taking care of my parking permit stuff. Tomorrow I have one class from 4:30-5:45. Wednesday I have 3 classes in the span of 9-5:45 so if anyone is in the Camarillo area between 1:15 and 4, let me know and then we could maybe hang out. Thursday is like Tuesday so I am hoping to get a ton of stuff done at my house that will allow me to dive into my more crazy schedule next week (which includes tutoring which will have me at school Mon-Wed 9-5:45 and Thur from 11-5:45).

I was starting to get a little freaked out last week about the craziness of my life and my schedule. Thursday I had the day off of work and Friday morning I had a meeting in the Learning Resource Center (where I tutor at school). The meeting was pretty boring and ran late and I still had to talk to the Financial Aid office before getting to work by 1:30. I hurried out of the library (the LRC is in the library) and came across a group of elderly people huddled around an elderly man on the ground. Despite just being in a huge hurry, I knew I had to stop and make sure everything was ok. I stopped and said, "Hi, my name is Michaela, I am First Aid trained. Can I help you with anything?" The group immediately said yes and I just started an initial assessment of the man on the ground. His name was Gordan and he is 91 years old. He tripped on the curb and twisted his ankle. He had some minor bleeding on his hand but as far as I could tell had no other serious injuries. Someone had already called the police who were on their way. I wanted to get someone to get a first aid kit from the library but didn't want to leave Gordan, and no one else really wanted to leave either. The police officer was there pretty quickly and took over the situation and called for paramedics. The whole thing maybe took 5 minutes of my time, but it was a nice reminder to stop and slow down and not miss what God has in store for me this semester. I am excited for my classes and I am excited to see my school friends. It was nice to see familiar faces in my Linear Algebra class. And it's always nice to see friends when you are walking around campus. As crazy as my schedule seems, I feel peace about it. I know I'm not alone at school and that's a nice feeling to have.

Bounce

Have you ever seen someone with an actual bounce in their step? I was walking behind this girl at school today who literally had a bounce in her step. Everything she stepped over was a little hop... Very interesting. Random, I know. But I haven't really seen someone with an actual bounce in their step. It caught my attention today.

My God Made That

Junior High camp has come to a close and I am amazed at the things God has been doing in the lives of these students, counselors, staff, and me. One staff guy has this one saying that always makes me stop and think. He looks at the stars and says, in all seriousness, "My God made that!" He looks at the mountains and says, "My God made that!" He watches the sunset at the beach and says, "My God made that!" It sounds so simple and it's something I have always known and loved, but to hear it out loud gives new meaning to it. If becomes real and true and it really gives me joy!

This last week, the pastor of Reality Carpenteria was speaking at Reality San Fransisco when he got the call that his daughter Daisy Love was sick. If you remember any of my previous posts, Daisy Love had a Wilm's tumor the size of a Nerf football about last September and was declared free of cancer (remission) as of April of this year. She has been in remission for a few months but this last week, the doctor's found a new, inoperable tumor the size of a grapefruit. She had a biopsy this week where they were able to remove about a 1/3 of the tumor and are now looking for a Wilm's tumor specialist.

I know that my God, who made the mountains, the stars, and the beach sunsets is bigger then Daisy's tumor. I know that He can remove that tumor and heal her little body. I also know that God has a bigger plan then we could ever imagine or begin to understand. Please keep Dasiy Love and the Merrick family in your prayers. God has been using this young girl and this family in amazing ways and I know He is not done yet. Pray for healing and peace and for God's glory to be seen through the life of this brave little girl!

Here's a link to get updates on Daisy Love and the Merrick family!

The Backyard Project

We are two weeks into program and I have to say, I am really excited about the staff team that we have this year. The first week of program went so well that it didn't even seem like it was our first week. So many wonderful things happened that I can't even begin to describe. God moved in some great ways in campers, counselors, and staff members lives. I can say, however, that I am very excited about these next three weeks of program.

This last week was unique in the fact that we didn't have anyone in camp. So we started out the week with an extended 4th of July weekend. I got to share my town and all of its craziness with some of my staff family which is one of my favorite things to do. After a weekend full of parade, BBQs, hangouts, Beach houses, and Fireworks we got to start what Holly called the Backyard Project. All of the staff got the opportunity to serve the community in a few different ways. One group helped out at the Ojai Baptist church VBS while the two other groups alternated between service projects at the beach and the Oak View Boys and Girls club, and Operation Embrace. I was in charge of the Operation Embrace group so I got to hang out there all week.

If you aren't familiar with Operation Embrace, you should be. Operation Embrace is an outreach program started by a very small church in Ventura called Harbor Community Church. This church started out with only about 20 members and felt led to start a Homeless outreach program. So they listened to that call and started Operation Embrace. 5 days a week, their doors are opened for homeless throughout Ventura and Oxnard to come and eat, shower, do laundry, use computers to look for jobs, get clothes, meet with counselors, get legal help, and so much more. They serve two meals, breakfast at 8 and lunch at 12. I can't even begin to describe the amazing things God is doing at this church but maybe their description will make things more clear:

Everyday members of The Harbor family go out to the parks and river bottom and "reach the people no body wants inside the walls of a church" . We go to embrace them, befriend them and share the good news and teachings of Jesus Christ. Our goal is to go where they are, and love them and hang out with them where ever they call home and bring church to them. Once trust is developed and they feel there is hope to change their situation, we bring them to the church for help through our MCM Ministry Case Management services. At The Harbor we provide case management services designed to collaborate with the many surrounding city agencies and local city social services operations that can provide services for those addicted through substance abuse, or homeless pregnant woman in need of housing and medical care, etc. plus for those that want to further their education we help them with schooling and Job search services available right at the church. Most importantly we begin a one on one mentoring and discipleship program for each one that chooses to have some one come along side them and teach them more about Jesus and our Christian faith. Our goal is to help every one that comes to our church family for help and help them find value and love and walk along side them with hope and solutions to their addictions and homeless living situations.

It was such a blessing to see a church that actually gets it. To see a church who understands what it means to live a life like Jesus lived. A church that cares for "the least of these." I'm not trying to bash anyone's church. I am sure there are several churches that get it and are living out God's Word in great ways. Even my church I feel doesn't always get it but I see them working towards it everyday and I love that. But to spend a week at this church and watch people interacting with one another and just loving each other, no questions asked was honestly one of the best weeks of my life. This church also started something called the Kingdom Center which is a transitional living center that provides food, clothing, shelter, and over all care for the homeless, poor, widows and orphans in Jesus Name. Their goal is for many churches to come together to provide transitional living situations for those Jesus told us to care for. I pray that I can continue to be a part of this ministry and I hope and pray that others will join with the Harbor to further God's Kingdom.

There were many moments throughout the week that I will remember, but I might have to share them in another blog since this one is quickly turning into a novel. Thank you God for an amazing week of serving You and the community! Thank you that I got to be a part of a community of believers who love You and love others. Thank you that I got to experience a church that gets it so that I can share it with others! Amen!

Answers

Are you ever dying to find out answers to things? And then you find the answer and you are disappointed or even saddened by it? Or maybe you already knew the answer, but you were hoping it wasn't true? Then you find out the truth and it all starts to sink in?

Last week we got the word from my grandma's new doctor that she does in fact have Alzheimer's. Now what? We knew she probably had it, but sometimes it's just really hard to hear it and to have it actually be final. She is doing ok. She's on new Alzheimer's meds and is finally on some anti-depressants which seems to be helping with her overall attitude towards things. Please continue to pray for my family this summer as I am not around to help out as much as I used to. Pray for my grandma and pray that these meds can help slow the process down as much as possible.

This Ain't No Masquerade!

Tomorrow starts our first week of program camp at Forest Home Ojai Valley and I couldn't be more excited! The last two weeks have been filled with meetings and training and planning and programing and getting to know the staff... It's been exhausting but so much fun and I can't wait to put everything that we have been putting so much time and effort on into practice. The staff this summer is great (not that they haven't been great in the past... every year is different) and I can't wait to see them all in action! The churches we have coming up this week are some of our favs (they are all our favs but these are just some of them)! Pray for a great smooth first week of camp not only for us as a staff but for the students, leaders, and youth pastors who will be joining us this week. Pray for our speaker Josh Pease and our worship leader Mat Weddle. And pray for our staff to not get in the way of what God has planned for these campers, leaders, and us this week and this summer.

Moving Day

Moving Day has come and gone and I am now officially moved into FHOV. I'm living it up in Leo Carrillo A for the next two weeks before the rest of the staff move in on June 11th. It's been nice having some quiet time (even though I have been working a lot this last week) but I am very excited to meet my new roommates, Jesi and Lianna. I have actually met Jesi before but I am still very excited for her to move in!

DREAMS

Have you ever had your dreams crushed by someone? Have you ever felt like everything you ever hoped for had just been crushed? Have you ever seen the look on someone's face when their dreams have just been crushed? Have you ever been the one to crush someone else's dreams? It turns out that I have now joined the later of those two groups. This last weekend we had a social at work and the kids put on a variety show which was terrible. The whole thing was super unorganized and there was zero supervision other then me and I was getting pretty pissed off. Now there are different levels of Michaela being pissed off... There's upset, annoyed, pissed, ticked off, and Panic Attack... Friday I was bordering the last one. We have had trouble with socials at work because they want to let the kids run them but the music is always terrible and no one dances which is frustrating so it was really no surprise that non of the kids were dancing at this one. What was surprising was watching every single kid walk outside during the dance because they didn't like the music being played. When the DJ (who was a student) came outside to ask everyone why they weren't dancing, I simply responded, "It's because everyone hates your music..." As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I wanted to vomit. How on earth could something so cruel and hurtful come out of me and be directed at a student? The look on her face seriously made me want to die. I apologized several times later that night but that is definitely one moment I would like to take back if I could...

Anticipation

Anticipation is a funny thing. It can make you a little crazy about things sometimes if you let it get out of hand. My uncle and his wife are having a baby today (or they already had it... we haven't heard yet) and grandma is very anxious about that happening. I don't think that I am really anxious about anything right now, but there are a few things that I am very excited about:

1. School's out for the summer! I finished my first year at CSUCI and I have to say I feel really good about it. I actually made friends and got involved this year which is kinda a big deal for a hermit like me.
2. Grades: I am not sure on some of my grades, though I can guess what I got. I am however very excited that I got a B in Logic and Mathematical Reasoning. Seriously one of the more difficult classes I have taken. Not necessarily because of the content but more the professor. What a jerk!
3. Two more weekends at OVS. This weekend we are going to a Dodger's game and next weekend we are going on an Asia town trip in LA. These could potentially be my last two weekends at OVS for a very long time seeing that I don't have a contract for next year. But I am surprisingly ok with that. I know that God has a plan for it all and if OVS is no longer a part of that plan, I trust that He will provide.
4. Moving Day! A week from today I will be moving into FHOV. I'll be living in the good old Leo Carrillo for a few weeks alone before the rest of the staff move in. We have two weeks of ExPed and then a week of a guest group and then staff training begins.
5. Glee! I know. It's silly. But I really like this show. Mainly I like the music but the show is super funny! And these last 4 episodes will feature Idina Menzel (one of my favorite actors of all time!)! Even better, she will be singing in these episodes ("I Dreamed a Dream", some Barbara Streisand song that they won't release yet, and an Acoustic version of "Poker Face" with Lea Michele (another one of my favs!)!)!

Lots to look forward to and much to be thankful for! Tomorrow we go down to UCLA to find out the results from the NueroPsychological exam.

Daisy Love

God is so good and so faithful! For those of you who don't know, my parents attend a church called Reality in Ventura which is a branch off of Reality Carpenteria. Their teaching pastor's daughter, Daisy was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer about 7 months ago and only by the grace of God, she is now in remission. Check out this video for the full story.

Daisy from Reality on Vimeo.

Happy Mother's Day

I wasn't going to do a Mother's Day post but after today, I feel like I need to. First of all, I love my mother with all of my heart and I am so thankful to her for everything that she has done and continues to do for me. She is my rock and someone I look up to a lot.

But this post isn't really about her (sorry Mom... I love you!). This post is really dedicated to my grandma Linda. She's been having a rough time (especially this last month), as you probably have read in some of my previous posts. Today I came home from tutoring to find my mom and dad talking to my grandma who had apparently gotten upset about something that was said to her. I went out to my room to change and give them some time to figure things out and came in to find my parents praying over my grandma. My dad prayed for peace and understanding for my grandma. He prayed for patience and clarity of her mind to understand what's going on around her. My mom prayed for forgiveness for us as a family for not always being the most patient with her. She prayed that we also can understand how to help her with what she needs the most. Now, I don't know if you know this about me but I'm kinda an emotional person who is brought to tears fairly easily. So by this time I was already welling up a little, but then my grandma started chatting with God and I kinda lost it. She prayed while sobbing, "God, please help me. I don't know what to do. I don't know what's going on. I used to have a house and I used to do things, and now I can't remember. I don't know what's going on. God I know that you are in control and you have a reason for everything. But God, I've been asking for you to help me and you haven't. But God I know you don't always give us what we want when we want it. God please help me. I don't know what to do."

I pray that one day, when I am old and losing my mind to a disease, I can still have the faith that my grandma showed me tonight through her prayer and her continual faith.

Tessellated Cuboctahedron

Last week was my last week of formal instruction for this semester. Now all that stands between me and summer vacation are two finals, a paper on a Mathematician (that I still have to pick... any suggestions?), and a Tessellated Cuboctahedron... The picture above is what I am going for with that one... I'll try and take more pictures when I get it built.

Bring On 17 Units

I registered for next semester's classes yesterday and it looks like I will have another semester of 17 units. I had a second option of 19 units but I decided to stick with this one. So here it is. My Fall 2010 schedule of classes.

Mondays
12:00 - 1:15 Linear Algebra
1:30 - 2:45 Linear Algebra Math Lab
4:30 - 5:45 Biostatistics

Tuesdays
1:30 - 2:45 Biostatistics Math Lab
4:30 - 5:45 Modern Math Tools for Elementary Teachers I

Wednesdays
9:00 - 11:50 American Liturature
12:00 - 1:15 Linear Algebra
1:30 - 2:45 Linear Algebra Math Lab
4:30 - 5:45 Biostatistics

Thursdays
1:30 - 2:45 Biostatistics Math Lab
4:30 - 5:45 Modern Math Tools for Elementary Teachers I

Not my ideal schedule but it'll have to do. As I'm getting down to the wire, the classes I need are being offered less and less. Some of these classes are the only sections being offered this semester so I had to work around those...

Oh The Tables...

Indeed the tables have turned... The last few weeks I've been watching my grandma attempt to put together some puzzles. Nothing too difficult. All under 50 pieces. But it's so sad to see how much she struggles with them. What makes it worse is she is the one who taught me how to do puzzles. I remember coming over to her house (which is the house we are in now) when I was younger and she was always working on a puzzle. Her coffee tables in her dark, smokey living room were always covered with half worked puzzles. I remember her showing me that the best way to start a new puzzle is to find all of the flat, side pieces and put the outside together and then work your way in. Since then, that's how I have put puzzles together because that's what she taught me. I remember she finished puzzle after puzzle (all of them in the 500 -1000 piece range), paste them together and frame them (which is funny because really, who wants to keep a puzzle...). Now I watch her do a puzzle and she has no idea where to begin. Today she said she was a little stuck and couldn't remember what my dad told her to do with the puzzles. So I showed her how to find all of the flat, edge pieces to put together the outside and then work inward.

Well, today I go back to work at OVS for the home stretch of the school year (only 5 or 6 weekends I think...). I can't believe that in the last 7 days I will have worked at three different jobs. This weekend, I will be going back and forth a little from OVS and FH because some of this year's summer staffers will be here for the video shoot. So hopefully tonight I will get to hang with them for a bit. For now, I'm just getting ready for work... Semi-formal social tonight... Good thing Elementary can't go... That means I get to watch them instead of the social!

Involved

No... Not romantically... I mean in school. For the first time in my college career, I am now involved in my school. I started tutoring at the Learning Resource Center at school and now I have friends. Not really friends but I know people now. I see them walking around campus and they say hi (some of them) and it feel nice. It's nice to not be alone. Tutoring is going really well. It's been slow in the LRC the last couple of days which has been nice since I just started tutoring solo this week. We only have three (really 2 and a half) weeks of school left before finals so I imagine things will be getting busier but for now I am enjoying myself.

Yes, that's right. Only 2 and a half weeks of school left. For me it's more like 5 more class days before finals and summer! I am so excited but I have a feeling these last few weeks are going to be pretty busy.

LRC

I just got a new job at the Learning Resource Center at Cal State Channel Islands! The LRC used to be called the Math Tutoring Center but due to changes in the CSU system, we are supposed to be able to tutor multiple subjects. But anyway, in order to get a job there you have to be a student in good standing, have completed Calc II, and have a recommendation from a Math Dept faculty member. The LRC is short staffed right now so they were accepting applicants that are currently taking Calc II and were recommended by their professor. My professor recommended me and here I am. I have a meeting today for a crash course training session and I do my shadow tutoring next week. Then I start tutoring three afternoons a week for a total of 8 hours a week for the last three weeks of school (plus however many hours I want during finals week).

So now I am juggling 3 jobs, 17 units, the gym (oh yeah. I joined a gym and have been working out regularly for the first time in years), grandma, and maybe a life... It's only for a few weeks and then summer starts so I'm not too worried. I get a week off in between the two and then Outdoor Ed. and summer craziness begins. I can't wait!

What's an Offering?

Happy Easter everyone. Hope you all had a great day doing whatever it is you do on Easter Sunday. Me, I work. I was really praying for a good attitude about working on Easter and it was sort of a challenge. El offered to take some of the kids to Sunrise Service and two of my kids said yes. They came and sat next to me the whole time which I wasn't super excited about at first but as the morning went on, it turned out to be really neat. One of my kids had absolutely no idea what she was getting herself into when she came and ended up asking a ton of questions. Questions like, "Why are they singing about Christmas?", "Why do they say 'Nothing But the Blood of Jesus'?", "What's an offering?"... My first reaction was "shut up!" (No I didn't tell her to shut up... calm down), but then I took a step back and realized that I get to share about Jesus to this kid who has no idea what's going on. When else would I get an opportunity like this? So we just chatted most of the time. She was bored out of her mind and played her Nintendo DS most of the time, but I was glad she came. I was glad they both came.

Happy Easter Everyone!

Forevermore

This Katie Herzig song has been stuck in my head the last two days. But it's fun and reminds me of when I was young and things were simple.

You could be my white night
And I could be your fairy tale
And you could come and save me
But that is not the end

I will wear will wear a white dress
You will paint a sunset
Life will be a love fest
That’s how it all begins

Say say, oh playmate
Come out and play with me
And bring your dollies three
Climb up my apple tree
Slide down my rainbow
Into my cellar door
And we’ll be jolly friends
Forever more

But the world can spin so madly
And love can hurt so badly
And stories end so sadly
But this is not the end

You still have my heartache
I still have your sweater
Things they will get better
Oh, but not today

Say say oh playmate
I cannot play with you
My dolly’s got the flue
Boo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo
Aint got no rainbow
Aint got no cellar door
But we’ll be jolly friends
Forever more

Say say, oh playmate
Come out and play with me
And bring your dollies three
Climb up my apple tree
Slide down my rainbow
Into my cellar door
And we’ll be jolly friends
Forever more

Really?

Yesterday I was driving home from school and saw a poster advertising a church's Easter Service. It had a picture of a cross and a Picture of an Easter egg... Really? Can a church promote Easter eggs? I dunno. It's probably not a big deal. I just thought it was strange.

Unfortunately I am working this weekend. But I have really been praying about this weekend that I can just love these kids no matter how bratty they are. I have been really struggling these last few weekends to just love my kids and have patience with them. Maybe I'm using up all the patience I have during the week and I'm just running on empty. But this weekend I really just want to have compassion for these kids who are stuck at school on Easter weekend.

Hello! My name is Michelle..

This last weekend was pretty rough. Friday was a hard day with grandma. Her mental status is declining at a rate faster then what we originally thought which is hard to keep up with not only physically, but also mentally and emotionally. We can't tell her about anything ahead of time anymore (like people coming to visit or appointments) because she obsesses over them and asks a million questions (usually they are ones that she already asked and forgot that she asked and what the answer was). The hardest part of the day is probably the mornings although meal times are quickly catching up. Getting dressed is her biggest challenge mentally while her biggest challenge physically is probably eating. It's so hard to stand by and try and help when there's not a whole lot you can do. Some days (like Friday and, from what I hear, Saturday) she gets very angry and defiant. It's days like that when I can't help but feel annoyed which is usually quickly followed with extreme guilt. Friday I was impatient and it showed. Grandma even asked my if I was angry with her. I wanted to cry for making her feel that way and for not having enough patience. My name is now Michelle (according to grandma) because she can't remember Michaela. I've heard of other people's grandparents forgetting names and stuff but it's pretty heartbreaking when it happens to you.

I am really struggling with this but I know I'm not alone. We are having someone come in three days a week to help alleviate some of the added stress. And I am happy to see my family getting closer because of this. Please continue to pray for answers and wisdom from the doctors. And please pray for added patience for others both in my own life and in my family's lives.

And So It Begins

So it's been about a month since my grandma moved in and we are still trying to adjust our lives to her needs which has become increasingly difficult these last couple of weeks. We have definitely seen a decline in her memory and just overall well being since she moved in. But we were able to get her into UCLA for some tests. I won't go into the details of the actual tests but the tentative diagnosis is Alzheimer's. This diagnosis will be pending until some more tests can be run including a 4 hour neuro-psychiatric exam. Grandma is in a bit of denial about the diagnosis and really doesn't want to talk about it ever. It's definitely a hard diagnosis to hear for us so I can't really imagine how she is feeling about it. She also went to the optometrist yesterday and he took a scan of her field of vision which has significantly changed in the last few months since the last scan. She now has to retrain her eyes to use a minimal portion of her eye to see. Please be in prayer for my grandma. It's hard to continue to hear all of this bad news and she is already pretty depressed as it is. Pray that we can get in and get the necessary tests done as soon as possible (right now the 4 hour test is scheduled for June but my aunt is calling UCLA everyday checking for cancellations so we can get her in sooner). We are really hoping that it's not Alzheimer's but from what we have been seeing, it's not likely. But God is in control and His plan is better then mine so I trust that He will give us the strength to do this.

Sewing Snob

This week, I decided to get started on my T-Shirt quilt that I have been wanting to make for awhile now. I started it Monday and due to my ever growing OCD, I finished it last night. I am super happy with it but my body hates me for spending the majority of the week sewing...

My favorite pieces...

My new machine that was given to me... I love it!

The early stages of the project...